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Thread: Love Sickness / Unrequited Love

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    Love Sickness / Unrequited Love

    Have you experienced it? Does it really exist? Becoming physically sick because of a break up or because of not seeing your partner for a long time?

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    I've experienced it. Sometimes so much it truly hurts. I can't even really describe how it feels, but it's terrible.

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    It's real and it's not pretty. Love, like any other high comes with withdrawl and lows.

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    Love Sickness is the worst feeling I´ve ever experienced. It´s horrible over a long time and there´s not much what you can do against it.

    The worst case is when you fall in love with a guy (while he feels nothing special for you; it´s only a normal friendship or work relationship) you "have" to see daily or on a nearly daily basis. The ambivalent feelings tear you apart mentally! -> When you see him you are glad that you can be around him, but at the same time you have the sad feeling of rejection and the wisdom about the fact that there´ll never be a real relationship. You hunger for the person but you feel the hurting aura of rejection at the same time.

    On the other hand, when you´re away from him you miss his presence and look forward to the next meeting so dearly ("Four more days until I can see him again...",etc.) while you begin to understand subconsciously that the only thing what can ease your love sickness is physical absence from the person! Once again, ambivalent feelings "kill" you inside.

    If you part from the person you´re desolately in love with then the rest of the day is hell. The next few days are like hell, too. Then it begins to improve, the inner distance grows. And then, when you see him again, all resets to 0 and you feel extremely sad and love sick again.

    So I think the only solutions to love sickness are time and distance. It´s hard to understand and it´s hard to maintain...to dodge around the person you love wholeheartly. To be unlucky in love with someone can create feelings of unlimited depression, resignation and sickness of life. The only thing you want to achieve is to be happily around the person you love. And if you can´t reach this condition the whole world around you is dark and worthless.

    So, to put it in a nutshell:

    "Time heals all wounds but scars remain"

    "Judge of your natural character by what you do in your dreams" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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    Valkyrie - It might sound strange, but I've been on the exact same emotional roller coaster you just described. It's truly dreadful, and at times it has made me not care whether I live or die.

    Occasionally I would try to date other women who actually liked me in the hopes they would help me forget about the girl who had captured my heart, but it never worked. After a while, I came to the conclusion that I had a tendency to be attracted to women I knew I would never have a chance to be with. "You always want what you can't have" sort of thing.

    Since I recognized that impulse in me, it has helped me a bit in pursuing women that are more likely to give me a chance. Not saying that you have the same problems with love, but it's something to consider at least.

    Anyway, best o' luck out there!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Valkyrie View Post
    The worst case is when you fall in love with a guy (while he feels nothing special for you; it´s only a normal friendship or work relationship)
    That is not the worse case scenario. There are men who will manipulate and take advantage of women in such a state. An immediate rejection is far better than being a ''Friend's with benefits'' with a man who could care less about you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Torch_Bearer View Post
    Valkyrie - It might sound strange, but I've been on the exact same emotional roller coaster you just described. It's truly dreadful, and at times it has made me not care whether I live or die.

    Occasionally I would try to date other women who actually liked me in the hopes they would help me forget about the girl who had captured my heart, but it never worked. After a while, I came to the conclusion that I had a tendency to be attracted to women I knew I would never have a chance to be with. "You always want what you can't have" sort of thing.

    Since I recognized that impulse in me, it has helped me a bit in pursuing women that are more likely to give me a chance. Not saying that you have the same problems with love, but it's something to consider at least.

    Anyway, best o' luck out there!

    I had women fall in love with me and the feelings were never mutual. It might be hard for another person to understand this. But if someone falls in love with you and you have nothing for them, it's not something that could ever work.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheGreatest View Post
    I had women fall in love with me and the feelings were never mutual. It might be hard for another person to understand this. But if someone falls in love with you and you have nothing for them, it's not something that could ever work.

    You just have to move on. You just have to wait for that ''love at first sight'' phenomena.

    I've been there too, and I always feel bad because I know how it feels. It might sound weird, but I've even tried to act in ways so that the girl might more easily lose her feelings for me. I'm not a jerk to them or anything, but I'll start behaving in ways that hopefully turn them off.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Torch_Bearer View Post
    I've been there too, and I always feel bad because I know how it feels. It might sound weird, but I've even tried to act in ways so that the girl might more easily lose her feelings for me. I'm not a jerk to them or anything, but I'll start behaving in ways that hopefully turn them off.

    Who said anyone was able to avoid such a feeling? It's a natural response when it comes to denying a fellow human. I feel like a jerk each and every single time that it happens. I'm not sure what's so special about me that keeps them coming but I suppose it's one of those mysterious processes that comes from being a human.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Valkyrie View Post
    Love Sickness is the worst feeling I´ve ever experienced. It´s horrible over a long time and there´s not much what you can do against it.

    The worst case is when you fall in love with a guy (while he feels nothing special for you; it´s only a normal friendship or work relationship) you "have" to see daily or on a nearly daily basis. The ambivalent feelings tear you apart mentally! -> When you see him you are glad that you can be around him, but at the same time you have the sad feeling of rejection and the wisdom about the fact that there´ll never be a real relationship. You hunger for the person but you feel the hurting aura of rejection at the same time.

    On the other hand, when you´re away from him you miss his presence and look forward to the next meeting so dearly ("Four more days until I can see him again...",etc.) while you begin to understand subconsciously that the only thing what can ease your love sickness is physical absence from the person! Once again, ambivalent feelings "kill" you inside.

    If you part from the person you´re desolately in love with then the rest of the day is hell. The next few days are like hell, too. Then it begins to improve, the inner distance grows. And then, when you see him again, all resets to 0 and you feel extremely sad and love sick again.

    So I think the only solutions to love sickness are time and distance. It´s hard to understand and it´s hard to maintain...to dodge around the person you love wholeheartly. To be unlucky in love with someone can create feelings of unlimited depression, resignation and sickness of life. The only thing you want to achieve is to be happily around the person you love. And if you can´t reach this condition the whole world around you is dark and worthless.

    So, to put it in a nutshell:

    "Time heals all wounds but scars remain"
    You've said it better than I'm could.
    The worst love sickness for me was when I'm couldn't be with someone.
    An impossible love.
    It destroyed me for a while.
    But now I'm healed because it was long ago.
    Time and distance heals. But the experience remains.

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    Yes, and it was one of the most horrible things that I experienced. I was morally sick because the person I trusted betrayed me, and I didn't feel like eating, drinking, going out, seeing peoples. I wanted to be drawn in a shell and hide from the rest of the world. The way I interacted with others changed. The whole me changed. Some time passed and now I finally found the strength for a new relationship. But I'm still a little bit affected by the disillusion I suffered and I'll be much more careful with peoples from now on.

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