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Thread: Fights in Relationships

  1. #11
    Wild Cat
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    Gareth Lee Hunter's Avatar
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    My wife and I were both still carrying some heavy baggage with us from previous relationships when we got together. Every now and then these ugly memories combined with our own heated differences would rear its ugly head, causing us to become seriously argumentative. As time progressed these bad memories faded into our subconscious, and we only argue occasionally for a short time these days. Usually, after we verbally exchange whatever it is that's irking us at the time, my wife will frown and tell me to ---- off, and I'll quickly respond with ---- on with a goofy grin, which evokes a headshake, rolling eyes, and eventually a laugh followed by "You silly -------". And then everything is cool again.
    “A dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot.” Robert A. Heinlein

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    Senior Member Wyrd's Avatar
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    I think that too many fights in a relationship are not a good sign. However, it's also important to impose one's own point of view and make their feelings known. Bottling up feelings inside can lead to internalizing issues and isn't good for relationships. I found this article which emphasizes that the way couples discuss and solve their issues is more important than the argument itself:

    All couples argue, but it's the way they argue that determines if their relationship will go the distance.

    "Instead of attacking the other person’s character, happy couples color inside the lines and express their own feelings," psychotherapist Vikki Stark, director of the Sedona Counselling Center of Montreal, told The Huffington Post. "It’s fine to say, 'I’m furious with you right now!' It’s not fine to say, 'You’re a sorry excuse for a human being.'"
    https://www.huffpost.com/entry/8-thi...U4lA5YyaDnuHAv

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