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Thread: How to Deal with Condescending People

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    Question How to Deal with Condescending People

    Do you have problems with condescending people? Do you get lectures from your parents, friends or other people you know? How do you deal with condescending people who speak to you from above? I have got to confess condescending people piss me off, especially if they're my age and they speak as though they know so much better than me. I can tolerate it from my parents or biggest siblings, but not from the little ones or the ones who have no idea what they're talking about. I'm tempted to just show the middle finger at the condescending people, but I realize I can't always do that.

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    Senior Member Ragnar Lodbrok's Avatar
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    Solipsism vs. Nihilism
    Category: Religion and Philosophy
    "My mind and my experiences are all that exists, everything else is false," says the Solipsist. "There is no inherent value in anything, objective values do not exist, life is without meaning." says the Nihilist (this would be me.)
    Since long ago during my high school years, some people living around my town have been complaining about me and pesting me. This has stemmed from old high school petty disagreements I had amongst my own kin long ago. Since replying to this with an unfriendly attitude and snubs, one of these families(due to these grudges and disagreements I had with high school teachers who whom they also knew) they have been complaining and bitching about me leaving my house and not coming to their house without their permission???!!! And doing things they say are "rude" if I don't get the "neighborhoods" approval???!!!(stuff having to do with my own personal business)

    I have never talked to these pests, they don't invite me to do anything with them, and I do not associate with them. There are only two situations were someone would actually be on the spot for this.
    1) Your parents don't know you left, don't know where you are and your never there. (Running Away)

    2) Someone has a reason(again I don't associate with these people, they don't have any reason) why they want you somewhere with them. (Obstruction)

    I have only accidently and almost broken law number 1 once, hence the old Solipsist saying "Hello 911 he's not being nice to me I'm feeling harassed." "Screw you guys I'm going home," would be the Nihilists reply to this. The guy who is leaving his kitchen help job for a printing career and a chance to study history would ME the NIHILIST.


    This is a blog from myspace about some condescending people I have dealt with in the past.
    "What is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil." Friedrich Nietzche

    "Virtue - all virtue - is knowledge."
    Socrates

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    Fight back with the same kind of weapon. Condescending people look for a weak spot and exploit it. Like if you're a blonde, they'll always make allusions to your blonde hair to explain your alleged lack of intelligence. So find their own weak spot, like their lack of money, low social class, gender, age, anything you can pick on. It's dirty, but it teaches them a lesson.

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    Senior Member Ragnar Lodbrok's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Todesengel View Post
    Fight back with the same kind of weapon. Condescending people look for a weak spot and exploit it. Like if you're a blonde, they'll always make allusions to your blonde hair to explain your alleged lack of intelligence. So find their own weak spot, like their lack of money, low social class, gender, age, anything you can pick on. It's dirty, but it teaches them a lesson.
    So true, so very true...
    "What is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil." Friedrich Nietzche

    "Virtue - all virtue - is knowledge."
    Socrates

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    Senior Member Brynhild's Avatar
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    How about young people who think they can be on the same level playing field with those who have been around the traps, experienced things that the younger folk haven't even known about yet?

    See, the trouble with the younger folk is that they forget we've already been there, done that, and probably 10 times worse!
    Dick Dastardly: "MUTTLEY, DO SOMETHING!!!!"
    Muttley: "Hehehehehehehehehe"

    "And now, Harry, let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure." - Albus Dumbledore, from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Brynhild View Post
    How about young people who think they can be on the same level playing field with those who have been around the traps, experienced things that the younger folk haven't even known about yet?

    See, the trouble with the younger folk is that they forget we've already been there, done that, and probably 10 times worse!
    Maybe but youngsters can't be kept in an air bubble protected from all the traps. I think the youngsters should be let to experience life by themselves. Sometimes you learn better that kicking a wall hurts if you kick it. Being all condescending won't make them listen to you more, it will make them dislike you and turn away.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Brynhild View Post
    How about young people who think they can be on the same level playing field with those who have been around the traps, experienced things that the younger folk haven't even known about yet?

    See, the trouble with the younger folk is that they forget we've already been there, done that, and probably 10 times worse!
    I don't think we young people are more experienced than the older generations. I'm willing to listen to the well meaning advice of older people, but not to arrogant bitches (male and female) who just like to lecture for the sake of lecturing and feeling good about themselves. They're as annoying as the young people who claim to have seen it all.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Brynhild View Post
    How about young people who think they can be on the same level playing field with those who have been around the traps, experienced things that the younger folk haven't even known about yet?
    Just like some older people think that wisdom comes automatically with age --- which is wrong, it comes with experience, not age: A boy at 19 who's been living on the streets for four years and then joined the military at 17 and gets deployed to some hostile region will know more in some respects than a 40-year-old who's never left mommy's house in years.

    Like Bärin stressed, being condescending towards them because of their age will not make a youngster understand. Instead of beating them down with "You couldn't know this at your age" - one should leave the age argument out and give sound advice instead. That way, the youngster will listen.

    I take being loud, confrontational and outspoken directly from my father. Even the knack for lecturing I take from my father ... he loves to spend two hours on the phone to me spelling the same advice out umpteen of times. But since it's sound advice that he gives, there is usually no point to counter-argue and all I can say is --- "perhaps you are right, I shall look into it."

    The type of advice the elders should give to us youngsters shouldn't be in a condescending tone either. They should relate to the problem and relate to the type of thing they would do in such a situation --- or if they've been through it, best explain what they did in such a situation.

    In 9 out of 10 cases and in 9 out of 10 circumstances, the older person will have "been here, done that". I've however also already faced situations where some of my experiences were the only applicable advice when some people significantly my senior had no advice ready --- because they'd never been through it whilst I had.
    -In kalte Schatten versunken... /Germaniens Volk erstarrt / Gefroren von Lügen / In denen die Welt verharrt-
    -Die alte Seele trauernd und verlassen / Verblassend in einer erklärbaren Welt / Schwebend in einem Dunst der Wehmut / Ein Schrei der nur unmerklich gellt-
    -Auch ich verspüre Demut / Vor dem alten Geiste der Ahnen / Wird es mir vergönnt sein / Gen Walhalla aufzufahren?-

    (Heimdalls Wacht, In kalte Schatten versunken, stanzas 4-6)

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    Senior Member Brynhild's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Todesengel View Post
    Maybe but youngsters can't be kept in an air bubble protected from all the traps. I think the youngsters should be let to experience life by themselves. Sometimes you learn better that kicking a wall hurts if you kick it. Being all condescending won't make them listen to you more, it will make them dislike you and turn away.
    I never suggested doing any such thing. I learned the hard way through life, and that's the only way to learn - at least for myself. My 16 year old son is on the crux of manhood and I won't mollycoddle him. He's made a few doozies but he's also learning from them, and that's the important thing.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bärin View Post
    I don't think we young people are more experienced than the older generations. I'm willing to listen to the well meaning advice of older people, but not to arrogant bitches (male and female) who just like to lecture for the sake of lecturing and feeling good about themselves. They're as annoying as the young people who claim to have seen it all.
    I had issues with older people who claimed much but saw bugger all. I just happen to get annoyed at times when some of the younger generation talk of tough times that they wouldn't even know about, because they've been wrapped up in cotton wool, not allowed to make the same mistakes that their elders made. Parents want to shelter their kids, but some of them go way over the top and the kids learn nothing for themselves.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sigurd View Post
    Just like some older people think that wisdom comes automatically with age --- which is wrong, it comes with experience, not age: A boy at 19 who's been living on the streets for four years and then joined the military at 17 and gets deployed to some hostile region will know more in some respects than a 40-year-old who's never left mommy's house in years.

    Like Bärin stressed, being condescending towards them because of their age will not make a youngster understand. Instead of beating them down with "You couldn't know this at your age" - one should leave the age argument out and give sound advice instead. That way, the youngster will listen.

    I take being loud, confrontational and outspoken directly from my father. Even the knack for lecturing I take from my father ... he loves to spend two hours on the phone to me spelling the same advice out umpteen of times. But since it's sound advice that he gives, there is usually no point to counter-argue and all I can say is --- "perhaps you are right, I shall look into it."

    The type of advice the elders should give to us youngsters shouldn't be in a condescending tone either. They should relate to the problem and relate to the type of thing they would do in such a situation --- or if they've been through it, best explain what they did in such a situation.

    In 9 out of 10 cases and in 9 out of 10 circumstances, the older person will have "been here, done that". I've however also already faced situations where some of my experiences were the only applicable advice when some people significantly my senior had no advice ready --- because they'd never been through it whilst I had.
    I've heard this all before Sigurd. I've had experiences even when I was a kid that would make people's hair stand on end. I've had fights with adults who carried on with their high and mighty ways with me - and I still put up with heaps of crap from older relatives who think they know better but don't! I just happen to know nowadays when to hold my tongue, and the youngins still have to apply that skill - although to be fair, some of them would also have learned that.

    What I do want to point out, however, is that the older a person gets (usually) the more time on this earth they've clocked, and the more they look back on. I've crammed a lot in my years whereas you're just starting out. I'm not bragging when I say I'm experienced, I've been allowed to make my mistakes and know what I feel to be right from wrong. Knowing when you're right is fine, but flogging a dead horse just for the sake of winning brownie points and bettering yourself won't get a person very far either.

    Having the skill to see the bigger picture takes time. Picking your opportunities to strike is also a skill that takes time.
    Dick Dastardly: "MUTTLEY, DO SOMETHING!!!!"
    Muttley: "Hehehehehehehehehe"

    "And now, Harry, let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure." - Albus Dumbledore, from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Brynhild View Post
    I'm not bragging when I say I'm experienced, I've been allowed to make my mistakes and know what I feel to be right from wrong.
    I never claimed you weren't experienced, but where is the need to bring this fact in all the time? We can all see that you're in your forties and thus probably have been "around the block" quite a bit.

    If you let your wisdom speak without having to stretch in every second word just how much more experienced you are, then people are going to perhaps take good and well-meant advice anyhow, making the announcement of experience redundant.

    The wise man/woman does not have to announce himself/herself as wise, the populace will understand him/her as wise nonetheless, if the counsel is sound.
    -In kalte Schatten versunken... /Germaniens Volk erstarrt / Gefroren von Lügen / In denen die Welt verharrt-
    -Die alte Seele trauernd und verlassen / Verblassend in einer erklärbaren Welt / Schwebend in einem Dunst der Wehmut / Ein Schrei der nur unmerklich gellt-
    -Auch ich verspüre Demut / Vor dem alten Geiste der Ahnen / Wird es mir vergönnt sein / Gen Walhalla aufzufahren?-

    (Heimdalls Wacht, In kalte Schatten versunken, stanzas 4-6)

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