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Thread: Sex on First Dates

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    Sex on First Dates

    What is your opinion on that? Is it important to check "sexual compatibility" before deciding to begin a relationship?

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    No. Sexuality has it's place in a relationship, but that's certainly not the issue to be decided on a first date, IMO.
    Besides, "sexual compatibility" to be checked? I don't understand, if it's a male and a female what's the issue to be checked?

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    No. Besides that I consider it a little bit too easy, it's not prudent in my view to have sex with a person you don't know.Because you can't know who he's been with before, maybe he has diseases. I won't ask a date how many women he slept with before me.

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    There´s no sex without love for me. A healty relationship needs time to develop, and it takes time to learn about each other. "Trust" is an other very important point. I must be able to trust someone wholeheartly until I allow myself to let me fall into other arms.

    "Judge of your natural character by what you do in your dreams" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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    Not that I go on dates, but if I did I'd encourage whoever I'm with to lay her cards on the table. If someone places strong emphasis on sex in a relationship, it's better to know sooner than later.

    With someone as strange and maladjusted as me especially, it's exceedingly difficult to find one of the five percent of people that even have a remote chance of being compatible. Values and life philosophies (including attitudes to sex) should be discussed straight away so as not to waste each other's time.

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    Sex should be left until marriage, IMHO.

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    I'm a man, so I'd be lying for my own honour if I said that a lovely lassie in whom I am interested would prompt immediate rejection if she wished to practice sexual favours at first encounter, per se.

    However, I do tend to say that I'd rather not do that on a first date. If a girl is willing to hop into bed with me without much of a barrier, immediately wishing to offer me her most private and most personal treasures - then I do inherently doubt her overall compatibility.

    Sex is a lot about trust, really. As such - I would find it hard to trust a girl that I could have immediately. Who am I to know that she would be faithful --- for all I know, if it takes less than two hours for me to get into her pants - how am I to know that she won't do the same thing with another guy she meets on her first "girls' night out"?

    I used to be blindly trusting, but I grew up a little. If she's genuinely interested in you, then getting to know each other better before you start something meaningful will only kindle that interest further, whilst establishing a certain trust about the integrity of the other.

    If there is enough trust at first encounter from both sides to hop into bed with each other - I don't see a reason why one should wait artificially for the sake of moral. However, at large this is not the case, and in most cases it takes longer to build such a basis of trust.

    Hel - I don't usually kiss on first dates, either. In some instances, I don't even get her number if she knows one of my friends. I have a way of contacting her if need be --- and if she knows I'm a regular at a certain pub, I'll just be there again "same time, next week." --- the fact that she shows up to see me usually means interest. You've got to be careful not to get yourself too involved before you can see signs from the other side pointing towards it.

    But then again - I don't "date" in the "American fashion." I randomly start talking to a girl --- and then perhaps I may get her number and arrange to meet her in a more formal setting "for a coffee." A date of sorts --- but not an "official date." So, I let things move on more naturally than the "I'd like to date you" thing, which I find rather artificial, really.

    Sex on First Date --- nothing morally contemptible. But something which someone shouldn't contemplate in normal circumstances, because it's not really something which tends to build trust - and if you move too fast,, then chances are that this trust can never be built.
    -In kalte Schatten versunken... /Germaniens Volk erstarrt / Gefroren von Lügen / In denen die Welt verharrt-
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unavailable View Post
    Nothing wrong in kissing or taking it further, why waste two or three weeks just to find you are incompatable sexually.
    Can somebody please explain to me what this 'sexual incompatibility' thing is? I mean, if you like someone enough to put mouths together, what is left that can repulse you?!?

    We're not all THAT different under the clothes! Is this something about weird kinky stuff the other person might want to do? These sort of thing aren't that common, are they? Have I just been incredibly lucky so far?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Oswiu View Post
    We're not all THAT different under the clothes! Is this something about weird kinky stuff the other person might want to do? These sort of thing aren't that common, are they? Have I just been incredibly lucky so far?
    Aye, it'd be kind of hard to be sexually incompatible if you're otherwise compatible. If you're a man with a strong personality and a strong wearing-the-pants streak, then chances are a girl who's into submissive boys in bed is hardly going to be interested in you in the first place.

    And so on, and so forth --- take that anywhere. A girl who takes interest in a man who like I has long hair, a beard and a beer gut ... isn't going to look for a boy who shaves his axillary and pubic hair off, now is she?

    If after you've been "building on a relationship" you suddenly realise you're sexually incompatible when you hop into bed with each other --- chances are you weren't compatible in the first place, and your interest was more phallus-driven than heart-driven, anyhow.
    -In kalte Schatten versunken... /Germaniens Volk erstarrt / Gefroren von Lügen / In denen die Welt verharrt-
    -Die alte Seele trauernd und verlassen / Verblassend in einer erklärbaren Welt / Schwebend in einem Dunst der Wehmut / Ein Schrei der nur unmerklich gellt-
    -Auch ich verspüre Demut / Vor dem alten Geiste der Ahnen / Wird es mir vergönnt sein / Gen Walhalla aufzufahren?-

    (Heimdalls Wacht, In kalte Schatten versunken, stanzas 4-6)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Oswiu View Post
    Can somebody please explain to me what this 'sexual incompatibility' thing is? I mean, if you like someone enough to put mouths together, what is left that can repulse you?!?

    We're not all THAT different under the clothes! Is this something about weird kinky stuff the other person might want to do? These sort of thing aren't that common, are they? Have I just been incredibly lucky so far?
    Yes. Some people have standards for what's under the clothes too. They might prefer a certain size (some think size counts, both males - breasts - or females - penis), color (some like pink nipples. some like them brown) or grooming of the private parts (some like it shaved, some like it trimmed, some like it the natural way), or shape (some like pear shaped breasts, some like apple shaped breasts, some like curves, some like a flat stomach). You get the picture, I don't think I have to add more examples.

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