View Poll Results: How many friends do you have?

Voters
56. You may not vote on this poll
  • I can count my friends on the fingers of my hand.

    44 78.57%
  • between 5 and 10

    7 12.50%
  • between 10 and 20

    2 3.57%
  • between 20 and 30

    1 1.79%
  • between 30 and 50

    2 3.57%
  • more than 50

    0 0%
Page 11 of 11 FirstFirst ... 67891011
Results 101 to 107 of 107

Thread: The Nature and Value of Friendship

  1. #101
    Senior Member Wyrd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Last Online
    Tuesday, October 15th, 2019 @ 02:28 AM
    Ethnicity
    Norwegian American
    Ancestry
    Norwegian, German
    Country
    Vinland Vinland
    State
    Minnesota Minnesota
    Gender
    Age
    21
    Family
    Youth
    Occupation
    Student
    Politics
    Pan-Germanic
    Religion
    Heathen
    Posts
    126
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    6
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    42
    Thanked in
    21 Posts
    A lot of introverts on this forum, it seems. I'm joining the club. I can also count by best friends on the fingers of my hand, Im also friends with my siblings but they're of course family first. I'm shy and more of a loner so I don't get close to strangers easily. And Facebook type of friendships, don't even get me started...

  2. #102
    Senior Member Theunissen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Last Online
    3 Hours Ago @ 09:02 PM
    Ethnicity
    Germanic
    Ancestry
    North Western Europe
    Country
    South Africa South Africa
    State
    Transvaal Transvaal
    Location
    South Africa
    Gender
    Posts
    514
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    177
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    268
    Thanked in
    147 Posts
    How would one tell the difference between an acquaintance and a friend?

  3. #103
    Senior Member Wyrd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Last Online
    Tuesday, October 15th, 2019 @ 02:28 AM
    Ethnicity
    Norwegian American
    Ancestry
    Norwegian, German
    Country
    Vinland Vinland
    State
    Minnesota Minnesota
    Gender
    Age
    21
    Family
    Youth
    Occupation
    Student
    Politics
    Pan-Germanic
    Religion
    Heathen
    Posts
    126
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    6
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    42
    Thanked in
    21 Posts
    To me the main difference is that an acquaintance is just someone I know (through family, common friends or school) but a friend is someone I'm close with. Acquaintances we don't usually hang out with outside of those circumstances we frequent. Sometimes we invite them out of courtesy to important events like weddings or funerals, and we may share a cup of tea with them but we don't know each other on a personal level as well as with a friend. I guess a common example is if you can call or write that person at 3 in the night to pick you up if you're stuck in the middle of nowhere or if you're having a nervous breakdown. Friends are shoulders to cry on while acquaintances are more formal. Usually if I have to doubt if a person is my friend then they're probably just an acquaintance.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Wyrd For This Useful Post:


  5. #104
    Moderator "Friend of Germanics"
    Skadi Funding Member

    Blod og Jord's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Last Online
    @
    Ethnicity
    Danish
    Country
    Denmark Denmark
    Gender
    Age
    39
    Family
    Engaged parent
    Politics
    Nationalism
    Religion
    Odinism
    Posts
    750
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    127
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    378
    Thanked in
    199 Posts
    A real friend is something rare, maybe as Aeternitas say, we only get to experience a true friend once or twice in a lifetime.
    Unfortunately there are many so-called fairweather friend, who likes to stick around to party and share nice times, but disappears as soon as the going get tough. Also does not want to associate with politically incorrect beliefs.
    I can count my friends on the fingers of one hand, but that's ok. I don't want to relate to too many fake people who pretend to care but don't.
    Another thing which was omitted was that family can be friends and viceversa as well. My family, my partner and my child are my first and most important friends.

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Blod og Jord For This Useful Post:


  7. #105
    Senior Member Fire spirit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Last Online
    Sunday, January 20th, 2019 @ 02:06 AM
    Ethnicity
    English
    Ancestry
    England, Scotland, Germany
    Country
    United Kingdom United Kingdom
    State
    Wessex Wessex
    Location
    England
    Gender
    Family
    In a steady relationship
    Occupation
    Mum
    Politics
    Environment friendly
    Religion
    Heathen/Pagan
    Posts
    508
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    918
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    201
    Thanked in
    109 Posts
    You can choose your friends and some people get on with others more than members of their own family. Sometimes friends can almost be considered like your "family".

  8. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Fire spirit For This Useful Post:


  9. #106
    One with Nature
    "Friend of Germanics"
    Skadi Funding Member

    Víđálfr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Ethnicity
    Daco-Germanic
    Ancestry
    Geto-Dacian & German (Moldova, Transylvania, Austrian Empire, Mecklenburg)
    Gender
    Family
    Óđins mćr
    Politics
    Völkisch
    Religion
    Heathenry
    Posts
    1,024
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    937
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    1,000
    Thanked in
    464 Posts
    The Nature and Value of Friendship... what a wonderful name for a thread on such a wonderful topic!

    Well... there are many that can be said about this. I have to admit I didn't read everything that was posted in this thread before... but I read many of the posts, and I will also refer to some of them, in chronological order.

    First of all, I will define what friendship is in my view...

    A spiritual teacher I appreciate held a conference, many years ago, on the stages of love and how we can reach the Divine Love from each of these stages... I have listened with much interest to the first stages of love he described and I found so much truth in everything he emphasized there. One of the stages, and I think the last one I have listened to carefully, is the friendship type of love. The conference was structured to begin from the most inferior stage to the most elevated one, ending with the Divine Love. The first stages included the type of demanding love the child has for its parents, demanding attention and food and care all the time, for example. Some people still behave like that in their relationships during their whole lifetime. Superior to these were different kinds of erotic/romantic love... first one with much passion... and the next stage more romantic... Then another elevated stage of love was... FRIENDSHIP. After that... I didn't listen to the other stages of love he described, so I don't know yet... I guess I still have to deepen the stage of friendship. It made me reflect on it a lot... think of it... analyze it...

    I think it's interesting... as a mother loves her child... that's also love... friends love each other too... but that's another type of love...

    So for me friendship is a type of love too, but more elevated than the kind of love, which combined with erotic attraction, leads to couple relationships, for example... or to lots of drama, if too much passion is involved (see 'Romeo and Juliet' kind of love story, that's the love with passion)...

    To be honest, in my life I made some friends in this way: I was first in love with them, or they were in love with me, or we were both in love with each other (more romantic type of love), but then it developed into friendship. According to the teacher holding that conference... it makes a lot of sense. Friendship is just a superior stage of love, superior to romantic love, for example.

    When erotic attraction fades away, if there was love too, you remain with the friendship... Love develops in time as well.

    I believe in reincarnation. And sometimes I like to study and compare natal charts of me and my best friends. According to astrology, especially to karmic astrology, it seems that me and my best friend from this lifetime so far were probably married in a previous lifetime. That would make a lot of sense from this perspective: love evolving in time... even in lifetimes... from inferior to superior stages... and friendship is a superior stage. In this lifetime we are best friends, but in previous ones we were most probably romantically involved, if I am to trust astrology. It could be, why not? At some point I was kidding with her that we were engaged to each other... and when I found out, after years, about this marriage from a previous lifetime issue, it shocked me in the beginning... but then I remembered that joke we did... and it made me laugh. Astrology consists of course of probabilities... but it can make sense too...

    It seems with my ex I was also married in another lifetime... and it seems our previous marriage failed... maybe this is why he didn't want to marry me in this lifetime as well.

    However... after more than 7 years or romantic involvement... my relationship with my ex is now a deep friendship. We started as friends too... and we are friends now as well. Maybe he's my best friend now... since we've been through so many things together, both good and bad, of course.

    He is also good friends with one of his other ex-girlfriends, with whom he has been more than 16 years (I think, not sure) in a romantic relationship...

    So I guess we just evolved to a superior stage of love, that is friendship.

    However... I would never consider to be involved romantically with someone who is not a friend for me too. Being friends may be a guarantee that no matter what happens in there, we will stay friends after that too.

    All friendships are tested over time... and some pass the tests, some not... Sometimes you are far away from each other... but you're still friends. With my best friend I had since high school, we've been separated for many years, but when we met again... it was like time stand still... we had the same heart connection as we had before... very special bond. Maybe because we were married in a previous lifetime? (Kidding, but who knows?) She said it wasn't like that with none of her other friends... and she had so many friends, she was sort of a social butterfly, so to say... but none of her other friends remained the same. Even after more and more years... when we were again in the same city, I was there with her almost all the time I could find to be with her... and she said I was the most enthusiastic of all her friends to see her and to meet her.

    Over the years... who knows... time will tell. We may grow apart, or we may not. Our hearts may still be together in friendship, no matter how far away we are from each other or whatever happens.

    Now to refer to some of the previous posts, chronologically...

    Quote Originally Posted by Dagna View Post
    They say that we will know who are truly our friends only in hospital or prison. When I was ill, my friends did not visit me. Yet when I threw a birthday party, they all came gladly. I cannot help to think they were only interested in the fun and the treats. They were there for me in good times, but not in bad times, in health, but not in sickness.
    Exactly this happened to my best friend... she was so disappointed. Of course, I visited her when she was in the hospital too... but very few did. When it was for parties, everyone came... but not to see her, just to have fun.
    My luck I wasn't too much into parties... I mean to throw parties myself. I only made few but good friends during my life, who were friends both in good and bad times... but over the years, distance separated us... With some I only speak from time to time... but we still keep in touch. If we will have the chance to be close friends again, will see... but they were my friends and I was their friend in difficult times too. Time and distance separated some of us... not sure for how long... again time will tell.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dagna View Post
    Has it ever happened for your friendship to end? I believe we all go through this. Why do friendships end? I believe it is for many reasons. Perhaps because world views differ? That is what happened in one of my cases.
    One friendship that ended... We were more than friends, though, we were also romantically involved, and this lead our friendship to an end too, unfortunately... or fortunately, who knows? I miss him as a friend sometimes, I wonder what he's doing, we were very close friends, he was like a brother to me and I was like a sister to him... but it was only his decision to lose all contact with me. In many times I was his only friend, so it was his lose, not mine... That's it!

    And another friendship that ended... again, it was her decision, I don't understand why. It was quite strange... I guess she may have had some psychological disorder, she accused me of weird things that weren't true and said she didn't want to be friends with me anymore. And she did the same with another common friend as well. I still feel sorry for her, I hope she's fine or she's going to be fine... She has been through some very difficult moments, maybe that affected her too much, who knows...

    With my best friend, with whom I've been friends since high school, we stayed friends even if we grew up ideologically in completely different directions. We simply discuss other things when we meet, and avoid the ones that could bring disagreement between us. We live in different countries now, but we're still friends. Many things are different about us now, but we're still friends of course.


    Quote Originally Posted by Hersir View Post
    I prefer close good friends to alot of friends which I wouldnt know so well. I only trust two of my friends very much, one friend I have borrowed some cash too and he hasnt paid me back, he uses his cash to buy records and alcohol and go to concerts rather than paying his "friend" back. Even when its not much cash it is, each time I ask him for it he says he is broke.
    Exactly the same for me, I prefer closer friendships with fewer people. Now... this post was from more than 10 years ago... but I wonder... did that friend gave you the money back? Or not yet?


    Quote Originally Posted by Siebenbürgerin View Post
    In the average situations here, peoples' friendships are of short duration. You've friends in high school for example, but then you go different paths because you go to different universities, and you keep in touch a little bit at first, but then you make new acquaintances, and you forget the old ones. The same happenes when university is done, and you've different jobs at different places. The friends shift according to the entourage. Have you any friends of long duration, how does it happen?
    As I said, I have one of my best friends since high school... life separated us, but we still remained friends... there's a strong bond between us, I cannot explain that. However, I noticed in my case that almost all my long lasting friendships were with people from the same astrological element as me, meaning water signs: my best friend is a Scorpio, and all the others are Pisces. I never believed such a thing could be so accurate, but it seems it proofed to be, in time. Water signs, by definition, don't open up easily to make friends... but when they do, it is supposed to last a lifetime... or even more than that. Waters are deep... And I also have to admit I feel this soul connection and communion much easier with people who are also water signs. It just proofed in time to be like this for me.

    From university... I only made one good friend, in my first university year, while I was in another city... because I didn't focus on studies at all, but I had other things to deal with at that time... I had two good friends back then, but with only one I still keep in touch, we call each other every year on our birthdays... He is also a water sign, a Pisces...


    Quote Originally Posted by Hersir View Post
    True and good friends are rare, and in Hĺvamĺl it says you should visit your friends often to keep the bonds strong.
    Good to keep this in mind... and I guess I should put this into practice too... Haven't seen my best friend for a while...


    Quote Originally Posted by Ţoreiđar View Post
    I tend to define 'proper friends' as any person I could go for a hiking trip or vacation abroad with, only the two of us. I think that usually is a very good benchmark of distinction, as it requires a certain level of mutual reliance, trust, understanding and comfortable togetherness. I've had several friendships tested, passed and broken over that.
    Haha, that's an interesting way to define friendship! But it makes a lot of sense, why not? I had some 'friendships' tested that way, going hiking together, but in larger groups... and this is how I also made one friend who was important for me over the years... and also deepen the friendship with another one. What a wonderful guy, he would fit on Skadi too, hehe, even he's not Germanic (as far as I know)!


    Quote Originally Posted by SpearBrave View Post
    This is all how you define friends and if those friends are living in this life or have already passed on to the next place.

    There are different types of friends beer friends, hunting friends, Internet friends, work friends, fishing friends, friends you meet at social functions, political friends, and others.

    Then when you have a really good friends and they pass on, they are still your friend they are just in a different place.
    This is a wise way to put things too...

    However, I am not very social... I guess as I grew older I became more and more introverted... I was more social probably about 10 years ago... but that's it... we all have different characters.

    And yes... true friendships are beyond time and space. Beyond life and death too.


    Quote Originally Posted by Aeternitas View Post
    My mother always said, if I get to have at least one true friend throughout my life, I will have been quite lucky. I didn't understand this too well until I experienced adulthood.
    Both my parents are inclined to say the same thing...


    Quote Originally Posted by Blod og Jord View Post
    Another thing which was omitted was that family can be friends and viceversa as well. My family, my partner and my child are my first and most important friends.
    Many years my father used to be my best friend. And I am still very good friends with my father, even if sometimes it was not that easy...

    Some are saying that good friends may replace a missing family... or a good family may replace missing good friendships... Having both of them, one may be lucky.

    My ex, who's one of my best friends now, is like 'part of the family'. Good friends can be considered family too. And ultimately, all examples of long lasting happy marriages I know are between people who are first of all good friends one with each other and who love each other both romantically and as friends...
    Die Farben duften frisch und grün... Lieblich haucht der Wind um mich.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to Víđálfr For This Useful Post:


  11. #107
    Omnia in bonum
    "Friend of Germanics"
    Skadi Funding Member

    Alice's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Last Online
    @
    Ethnicity
    Anglo-American
    Ancestry
    English and German
    Subrace
    Nordid + CM
    mtDNA
    K1c2
    Gender
    Religion
    Catholic
    Posts
    1,819
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    2,863
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    1,039
    Thanked in
    575 Posts
    I have far more acquaintances than friends, but friendship is such an important virtue. Friendship requires shared interests and a certain level of commitment, and I feel that we were created to be in relationship with others. True friendship is very rare, and takes work to cultivate and maintain. St. Thomas Aquinas was correct in saying that true friendship is based on unselfish love for another person.
    Let us not desire delights, daughters; we are well-off here; the bad inn lasts for only a night.
    -St. Teresa of Avila

  12. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Alice For This Useful Post:


Page 11 of 11 FirstFirst ... 67891011

Similar Threads

  1. Songs About Friendship
    By Aeternitas in forum Music & Hymns
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: Thursday, December 14th, 2017, 08:00 AM
  2. Internet Friendship
    By Gefjon in forum Men, Women, & Relationships
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: Thursday, October 12th, 2017, 02:43 AM
  3. Friendship with Your Ex?
    By Bärin in forum Men, Women, & Relationships
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: Friday, March 24th, 2017, 11:53 PM
  4. The Korean Friendship Association (KFA)
    By ogenoct in forum Politics & Geopolitics
    Replies: 49
    Last Post: Wednesday, September 29th, 2004, 06:41 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •