View Poll Results: How many friends do you have?

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  • I can count my friends on the fingers of my hand.

    44 78.57%
  • between 5 and 10

    7 12.50%
  • between 10 and 20

    2 3.57%
  • between 20 and 30

    1 1.79%
  • between 30 and 50

    2 3.57%
  • more than 50

    0 0%
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Thread: The Nature and Value of Friendship

  1. #71
    Senior Member RoyBatty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freigeistige View Post
    People grow in separate ways, especially during their younger years. For this reason, my friendships never last more than 3 or 4 years. I simply lose interest in a person because they have traveled such a different path, usually a path I now have disdain for. I suppose it will be different as I get older, but maintaining childhood friends is not something I have any interest in.
    I have a couple from childhood left but in my case I think the reason why is because we don't have very "intense" type friendships where there's a lot of pressure or we're expected to be available and at one another's service. Of course we do help each other out when necessary.

    We see each other when we see each other (which is rarely), there are no huge expectations and we just pick up where we left off before disappearing again.

    Maintaining friendships can be hard work if the friends are the "high maintenance" or demanding types. In some cases they may be worth it but I guess that often they're possibly not. On the other hand it possibly isn't the ideal thing to lose contact with OK people due to being too lazy to give them an occasional "hi, how are things" (and vice versa).

    Guess friendships are always going to be a bit of a tradeoff.

  2. #72
    Senior Member Wulfram's Avatar
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    I never really have had a “lifelong” friend. I stopped going to church when I was 12 and up till that point my church friends were the only people my parents allowed me to hang out with. I maintained relations with a few of them for a while after that, but my atheism(at that time) produced an understandable strain and by the time college rolled around we were pretty much done with each other.
    College itself was a typical experience for me. I met people, partied with them for four years and then we moved on. My liberal friends were even more erratic.
    Because of these experiences I have learned to accept the fact that my friendships with people last an average of 4 to 6 years before we move on. We still write and call each other on occasion, but this to me is not the type of bonding that is essential to a lasting genuine friendship. Hanging out is a key element.
    Maybe I just haven't met the right people yet. But, I have learned to be thankful for the friends I have had, and collecting these memories with them are better than having none at all.

  3. #73
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    How Many Friends Do You Have?

    I don't have a huge entourage and I very seldom go to parties and/or partake in nights out. I have this tendency not to trust people, and given that I currently don't have a car I have to rely on others when I go out. This makes me uncomfortable. I can only feel comfortable when I can call the shots myself, unless of course I am with someone I consider a real friend. I have only 4 true friends, not counting my mom.

    How many friends (regular acquaintances not included) do you have?

  4. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by Norbert View Post
    I don't have a huge entourage and I very seldom go to parties and/or partake in nights out. I have this tendency not to trust people, and given that I currently don't have a car I have to rely on others when I go out. This makes me uncomfortable. I can only feel comfortable when I can call the shots myself, unless of course I am with someone I consider a real friend. I have only 4 true friends, not counting my mom.

    How many friends (regular acquaintances not included) do you have?
    Nothing wrong with that I say!


    Most people that have large numbers of friends, have fair weather friends that simply hang around for their own benefit.

  5. #75
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    aside from co-workers and family the number is 0 since High school.

  6. #76
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    I can't think of a single close white friend. I don't have much extended family and the family that I do have (beside my parents), we're not close. No wonder I'm on Skadi.

    I'm not exactly a loner by nature but I have always tended toward the stereotypical only-child. A couple close friends has always been good enough for me. But I've had difficulty finding those lately. For now, I have to settle for 'acquaintances I occasionally do stuff with.'

  7. #77
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    None currently. Most people never really pass the acquaintance stage with me. I like my own company and can't really bear to be out every Friday night. When people ask me to go out somewhere with them, I tend to make excuses, and after a while (usually a very short one) they stop asking altogether, so I it ends up that I simply never know anyone well enough to develop anything more than a nearly-friendship. These I technically consider 'friendships' because everything's relative, and in the absence of people who'd donate their limbs and eyeballs to keep me alive, then people who occasionally say hello to me and sit next to me in a room if there's nobody more interesting around have to make do. And, to be honest, I don't really mind not knowing someone for years and having them save me from a particularly close shave with a goat before I consider them a friend. I'm people smart. I know whether or not I like someone within a couple of encounters with them. I think to myself, 'If I knew this person for five years, we'd consider each other friends, so, knowing that, why not just go straight to considering each other friends now?' I have no problem with doing that, and I like to talk to people familiarly -- as though we'd known each other for years -- almost as soon as it's established we like each other.

    That said, at present there's not really anyone in real life I'd call a friend or even an acquaintance. My uni friends I've lost touch with; my 'local' friends from my school days have mostly forgotten about me. Sometimes they contact me out of the blue and we meet once or twice, but they're all lazy people and after they don't reply to a couple of texts or emails, I generally give up. I prefer a lot of you dudez at Skadi, tbh, and I've talked to some of you more than anyone in real life since I finished university.

  8. #78
    Love Conquers All
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    I'm quite shy so meeting new people is kind of difficult for me. I also live in an area where 95% of people are unbelievably stupid. There are people that I see at school and say hello to and whatnot but as far as very close friends, I'd say about about 3 or possibly 4.

  9. #79
    Senior Member Unity Mitford's Avatar
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    Very few. Like attracts like- the people I connect with are usually so deranged that it never lasts more than a few years But I am mellowing with age, so perhaps this will change...

  10. #80
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    I'm surprised by the results. I really didn't expect so many members to have so few friends. I thought I was a freak.

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