View Poll Results: How many friends do you have?

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  • I can count my friends on the fingers of my hand.

    44 78.57%
  • between 5 and 10

    7 12.50%
  • between 10 and 20

    2 3.57%
  • between 20 and 30

    1 1.79%
  • between 30 and 50

    2 3.57%
  • more than 50

    0 0%
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Thread: The Nature and Value of Friendship

  1. #11
    a.k.a. Slå ring om Norge
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    Re: Friendship

    Also those one stand up for, or risk something for, may reward it with generous friendship and similar acts... sometimes...but not always, depends on if they were worth it...
    One may fail sometimes, but the great gift of winning valueable friendships may be worth doing some "failures" or "unprofitable investments"...

    Let us not interchange friendship with business or changing services...even if such may lead to the real thing...

  2. #12
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    Re: Friendship

    I've read Nicomachean Ethics where Aristotle brings this topic up. He does make a lot of sense, but I don't think friendship is that simple to define. I'm sure Aristotle didn't think so either, and tried to break it down into the most bare-bone elements as possible. I myself take a look at my friends and try to fit them into the 3 different catagories. I also take into acount people that I hardly know and try to fit them into the 3 catagories. To tell you the truth, my broker could easily be my friend, the guy behind the counter at McDonalds, even the guy directing traffic. They could all technically be my friend. My view on all of this, everyone is your friend, whether or not you've met them yet is a different story.

  3. #13
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    Re: Friendship

    Here 2 sentences that came to my mind, it is concerning to the opposite of friendship:

    My mother once said:

    People who want to hurt other people are pityful because they are not lucky and have no inner peace and want to feel better by making others down. They only express their own inner dissatisfaction and it is not important who the other one is, they just wanna get rid of their own cruel situation or thoughts. Don´t argue about that, just think how poor individuals they are!
    And this in addition is by a good friend, same issue:

    There are also cases wherein a person has met throughout his life so much injustice against him and the people he liked, that the anger, the dissatisfaction and unrest in him becomes a habit, a second nature that predominates all he thinks and feels, and if he cant canalize it, fretting him out from the inside, the purtrid stench will infect anyone around him... and yes, people begin to hurt other just for hurting, but not cold-blooded, rather as a outcry... an agony of gargantuan dimensions


  4. #14
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    Friendship

    What is friendship to you? Is it a strong bond with someone or just a casual meeting to go out for a movie? Are you loyal to your friends, do they mean a lot to you? I have some friends but I don't believe they are friends in the true sense of the word. They say that we will know who are truly our friends only in hospital or prison. When I was ill, my friends did not visit me. Yet when I threw a birthday party, they all came gladly. I cannot help to think they were only interested in the fun and the treats. They were there for me in good times, but not in bad times, in health, but not in sickness.


    Die Sonne scheint noch.

  5. #15
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    I have a pretty narrow definition of friends. Friends are people with whom you can talk about everything on your mind and who are there for you whenever you need them.

    I openly admit that I do not have any real life friends that fit into that definition but I have about four people in the internet fulfilling these criteria.
    Ceterum censeo Iudaeam esse delendam.

  6. #16
    Senior Member sophia's Avatar
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    My friends are the opposite. They'd miss my birthday party (I've never had a birthday party - everytime I try and arrange one, everyone is always busy, I just spend the day with my best friend and my family) but if I was in hospital everyone would compete to see who can appear the most sympatheticeyes:

    I have basically three categories of friend, my best friend I trust the way a true christian trusts Jesus and love the same too (and unlike the Christian I get to speak to and be in my friend's company in this life).
    The second category is for people who I may or may not like very much, but whom I have spent large amounts of time with and understand them and their reactions and their behaviors and feelings, so they are familiar and predictable to me and their presence is comforting for those reasons (familiarity and predictability) even when and if they bore or aggravate me.
    The third category is people who I know well enough to call up and arrange a pleasant outing with and who I can enjoy their company and conversation without feeling shy or reserved and not expressing my actual personality (it takes me a while to "warm" to people, although some people seem to be able to put me at ease much faster than others).

    The three are all very different types of relationships but I think they all fit in the general term friend. An acquaintance is more like someone you see at work or in the street or at class and say hello, ask "how are you?" and make (dull, irritating, wasteful, I hate it but feel obliged to be polite and I am so sure that the other people also feel the same, what irony!) small talk with. In fact the sense of not being "obliged" to be polite might be the measure of where friendship begins.

    I would be reasonably loyal to the middle category. I would be favoritist to the third category compared with acquaintances or strangers but I wouldn't have much more than that. The first category is special, I would be absolutely loyal there, it is basically as though the person is become a part of my family.
    A* I’m a dreadful reactionary, Mrs. Helena. I don’t like this progress one bit.
    H* Like Nana.
    A* Yes, like Nana. Does Nana have a prayer book?
    H* A big fat one.
    A* And are there prayers in it for various occurrences in life? Against storms? Against illness?
    H* Against temptation, against floods -
    A* But not against progress, I suppose?
    H* > I think not.
    A* That’s a shame.

  7. #17
    Account Inactive Huzar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janus View Post
    I have a pretty narrow definition of friends. Friends are people with whom you can talk about everything on your mind and who are there for you whenever you need them.
    I openly admit that I do not have any real life friends that fit into that definition but I have about four people in the internet fulfilling these criteria.
    I agree. REAL friendship isn't easy to find. Just the opposite.

    95% of people i usually speak with, aren't exactly friends.......just "companies". Sad but true.

  8. #18
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    Those who I occasionally socialise with are just people I know. The only real friend I have lives in another municipality, we communicate via Instant messaging.

  9. #19
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    I guess i have the luck to have a lot of good friends in a clique. I go so far to say that we are not friends but rather brothers and sisters. ;-) I can trust everybody and tell them everything. All of them did i know since school time and we go through thick and thin. When we were younger we stay all the time together at the home of a mate making insane things and having a lot of fun. It was such a great time. This friendship surely go till we die. Funny is also that some had become children at nearly the same time so we are always making jokes planing about who with whom will marry and so on.
    Viele Menschen sind zu gut erzogen, um mit vollen Mund zu sprechen;
    aber sie haben keine Bedenken, dies mit leeren Kopf zu tun.

  10. #20
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    For me a real friend is a person that would be almost as close as a brother. When one of us is sick, or drunk or in a miserable state you'd look after one another. It doesn't matter whether it is in the dead of night or during rush hour: when something is going on you rely on each other.

    In a sense a friend if like a lover only without the romantic part. It is the unquestionable loyalty. With real friends you can talk without saying a word. You can share your interests,hopes, fears, dreams and small talk without fear that that openness will be used against you.

    In all honesty, I have few real friends, since I have always been on the move and I am the close circle kind of person. I have a small but stabile "round table" of friends though: about 4 (one of them is my girlfriend) and 2 more online.

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