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Thread: Addiction advice?

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    Senior Member Sifsvina's Avatar
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    Addiction advice?

    Anyone have some insight into how to deal with someone with an alcohol problem? Beyond occasionally admitting that they shouldn't get smashed and they need to not drink alone as often they won't admit they have a problem. Sometimes as much as two drinks can have them acting/reacting like a different person. I've thought about trying al-anon groups but I don't know if I can stand a bunch of multikults talking about their higher power. I'm hoping it doesn't get to the stage where I have to just cut my losses. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
    Wake, Jotun, wake! Shake, Jotun, shake! Burn and blow, rain and snow! Wake, Jotun, wake!

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    The problem with any form of therapy (including alcohol dependency treatment) is that the patient must be a participant in the process, not a recipient of it. And this means that the person must really want to quit drinking. Often with these type of treatments the objectives of the patient are totally different from that of the therapist: the therapist wants the patient to quit his harmful behaviour, while the patient wants only to minimise the harmful consequences of his behaviour (he may have agreed to attend in order to appease family and friends, or not to lose a spouse or boy/girlfriend). Just because someone is in treatment for alcohol deopendence, does not mean he really wants to quit.

    So all this means that your friend has to want to quit for himself; unfortunately you cannot make the decision for him. What you can do is lay it down: quit drinking, or reduce your drinking to manageable levels, or I'm kicking your ass to the curb. If this guy values the bottle more than your company, then that is what he deserves. If you do choose to make such a threat, you must mean it and be prepared to really go through with it if necessary. You should also make it clear to your friend that if he does decide to try to quit, you'll be there to support him.

    Also remember that relapses are a part of most processes of recovery. You should make sure your buddy understands they are not acceptable, but also you should know a lapse does not mean that the process is a complete failure, or that the period of sobriety that preceded it (no matter how long or short it was) was meaningless.

    Good luck.

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    Senior Member Sifsvina's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eldritch
    What you can do is lay it down: quit drinking, or reduce your drinking to manageable levels, or I'm kicking your ass to the curb. If this guy values the bottle more than your company, then that is what he deserves. Good luck.
    Thanks. In my surfing on the subject I have read that giving an ultimatum is a definite no no. It may come to that, but as the behavior is not really severe (but a definite erosive factor) I want to try other things first:-) I was thinking of getting a video camera and showing him footage, when he's completly sober, of what an illogical idiot he is when he thinks he's not even tipsy. The drawback of this plan being the cost of the camera.
    I have found some advice on-line about how to deal with and support someone who is "recovering" but not much, besides a full on intervention, for how to help them see there is a problem. I understand that this is one of the biggest dificulties of the whole issue but....I figured I'd ask anyway:-) This is after all HA -Heathens Anonymous;-) We're all in recovery from this rotten society!
    Wake, Jotun, wake! Shake, Jotun, shake! Burn and blow, rain and snow! Wake, Jotun, wake!

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    Read Diary of a drug fiend by Aleister Crowley.

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    Addiction is something that a Heathen is supposed to ignore.
    Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscripti catapultas habebunt.

    « -Oh my God, but you're a neo-nazi?!...
    -But why neo? »

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    Senior Member Sifsvina's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weg
    Addiction is something that a Heathen is supposed to ignore.
    ??? Got some addictions you don't want to face? ;-) How about we just ignore the race issue as well, it will just go away on it's own too..... eyes:
    Wake, Jotun, wake! Shake, Jotun, shake! Burn and blow, rain and snow! Wake, Jotun, wake!

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    Senior Member Sifsvina's Avatar
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    LOL, I think the problem has been properly brought into the open since I started this thread. Funny how things work, the very act of asking for help can bring about change on it's own:-)
    Wake, Jotun, wake! Shake, Jotun, shake! Burn and blow, rain and snow! Wake, Jotun, wake!

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    Senior Member Ethelwulf's Avatar
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    Reminds me of a line from Hölderlin's Hyperion (I'll put it in context, just because I love this particular passage):

    "You will be the teacher of our people, you will be a great man, I hope. And When then, as now, I embrace you, I shall dream, as if I were a part of a glorious man, I shall rejoice, as if you had given me half of your immortality, even as Castor did to Pollux, oh! I shall be a proud girl, Hyperion!"
    I remained silent for a while. I was filled with inexpressible joy.
    "Is it possible that there is content between the decision and the act, is there rest before the victory?"
    "It is the rest of the hero," said Diotima, "there are decisions that, like the words of gods, are at once command and fulfillment, and such is yours."
    We returned, as after our first embrace. Everything had become strange and new for us.
    Now I stood above the ruins of Athens like the farmer on the fallow field. "Only lie still," I thought, as we returned to our ship, "only lie still, sleeping land! Soon will the young life sprout green from thee and grow toward the blessings of Heaven! Soon will the clouds never rain in vain, soon will the Sun find his old nurslings once more."

    One of the greatest works I've ever read.
    Mathilda: "I know nothing about eternity, but I should think that what I feel whenever I think of you would have to be eternity."
    Henry: "Yes, Mathilda, we are eternal because we love each other."


    - from "Henry Von Ofterdingen", Novalis

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sifsvina
    ??? Got some addictions you don't want to face? ;-) How about we just ignore the race issue as well, it will just go away on it's own too..... eyes:
    No milady, I have addictions, however they're not unhealthy. I don't smoke nor I drink. Iron will, nothing less nothing more. A strong mind is required. That's the way to stop any addiction imho. BTW, I didn't know alcohol and addiction were closely connected with the racial issue...

    PS : good to hear you stop drinking.
    Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscripti catapultas habebunt.

    « -Oh my God, but you're a neo-nazi?!...
    -But why neo? »

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    Senior Member Mistress Klaus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sifsvina
    Anyone have some insight into how to deal with someone with an alcohol problem? Beyond occasionally admitting that they shouldn't get smashed and they need to not drink alone as often they won't admit they have a problem. Sometimes as much as two drinks can have them acting/reacting like a different person. I've thought about trying al-anon groups but I don't know if I can stand a bunch of multikults talking about their higher power. I'm hoping it doesn't get to the stage where I have to just cut my losses. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
    I have experienced the same problem with my partner...he can act mental with too much booze. He has always regretted his behaviour afterwards and we have finally come to the stage of mutual discussion & him admitting/wanting to change his ways. He knows I will only put up with so much before I finally snap and kick him out.
    Some people can't drink alcohol without turning into some ADD(hypo) f**kin' retard, half-arse violent man/woman child....Grow up!!!!!!!!

    Sifsvina...My advice...sit down and talk to the person in question. (Also the video/audio taping option isn't a bad idea either). If the person washes over the conversation...it is obvious they are not ready to face their demons...(in which you have to decide whether they are worth the wait)...They will come to the 'awakening' oneday.eyes: My partner has caused deep resentment within me...through his drunken verbal & physically threatening abuse against me & everyone around us.

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