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Psychology, Behavior & Neuroscience Forum dedicated to the mental processes and behavior, the emotional and behavioral characteristics or attitude of an individual or group and all phenomena of the mind, the conscious self and beyond.

Escapism and a General Dissatisfaction with Life

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Old Friday, April 6th, 2012   #11
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Hmm...

All the whites that I know of who were "racially concious" and rich found their bank accounts empty one day. Even made it into AFP Newpaper.

I think people who equate their money with any other standard besides material and food is delusional. The worst type of person is one who judges someone else's knowledge by how much money they have.
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Old Friday, April 6th, 2012   #12
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Originally Posted by feisty goddess View Post
I don't think so. I think poor people NEVER have the potential to feel as happy as they can and are just focusing on surivival, so they're not aware of how depressed they really are, but rich people have more time and resources and focus on themselves more. They're actually just more able to work out their problems. Everyone has to get past a threshold of certain needs to even be aware of the full extent of how they feel.

The point of mentioning Great Gatsby is that you would think your need for material things is difficult to fulfill but that is nothing compared to working through your personal/social problems when you no longer have a need to obtain material things.
Ok well I think I get your point now.
The Great Gatsby if I'm not right is a kind of commentary on the "Gilded Age" in America if I remember Rightly. A term coined I think by Mark Twine as a type of take off on the "Golden Age".

Honestly though I think the more "Stuff" you have then the more resources you need to maintain the "Stuff". This seems to be a common problem with Americans I think is the grab for "Stuff".

Not to say I'm against "Stuff" because I have plenty of my own "Stuff".

As far as personal Problems go, that is something you have no choice over, and you are forced to do rich or poor.

As for poverty we are not at that point here in the US for sure. But even if we were, I would say that would in fact be an opportunity to show others what you/we as Germanic's are made of as an individuals.

It is not as if the Germanic population had to come to get jobs from say Hispanics? It was, and still is the other way around, they come to the white man for Jobs, and the only reason the "White Man" has those jobs is that because we are conservative and thoughtful of resources.

In some ways, I think the Germanic Population should be proud of this sort of thing as an achievement, even though the odds against us are large, it is likely we will come out on top.
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Old Friday, April 6th, 2012   #13
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Originally Posted by Elfriede View Post
I understand where you are coming from, believe me. I live in a place that I really can't stand and sometimes I feel so trapped here. Sometimes I used to feel like even if I tried to leave, I wouldn't be able to and that scared me... this is one of those towns where people get stuck for their entire lives because they forget that there are indeed other places out there. I used to constantly (and still do to some extent) day dream about leaving and what the world would be like and whether or not I should just risk running away.

I get worried sometimes that I am giving the "best years" of my life to a place that I, frankly, really dislike. I try to keep in mind that I am doing it for a good reason but I'm getting quite impatient.

Don't get me started on the topic of reality, because I could probably talk forever about it
Here's what I think in a nutshell: Reality is not as simple as I thought it was. What "reality" is and is not has been debated since the dawn of time and probably will be forever. I've yet to meet anyone with a "good grip on reality" because I don't think such a person exists. I suppose one could define it as nothing more than electrical and chemical currents surging through our brains but even then you are going to wander into some gray area. Dreaming = electrical and chemical activity in the brain but is dreaming reality? What about lucid dreaming? What about hallucinations? Some people are going to answer with a very firm "No." I think people are too quick to judge what is real and what is not. I'm no neurochemist and I'm sure that my understanding of the mind is a gross oversimplification.

Like I said, I could go on and on but then my post would become severely off-topic. I guess the point that I'm trying to make is that only you have control over your reality. If you have made up your mind to be unhappy then you will be. Sometimes we actively give other people/the media/circumstances the power to decide whether or not we are happy.
Oh my goodness I went through the same thing. I often feel like a flower blooming at it's most beautiful moments that will never see the light of day for a long time, until I'm replanted. Sometimes I have almost panic-like anxiety attacks because I realize I'm still in this place I don't really want to be and I've gotten almost nowhere. Sometimes I feel like going away and moving on with my life like I wanted to is almost like trying to reach a knife five feet away when my hands are all tied up.
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Old Friday, April 6th, 2012   #14
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Dear feisty, I guess I´m able to relate to your experiences as I have and had similar thoughts and imaginings in my life, combined with quite strong feelings of melancholia (which is completely different to depression).

It´s not that I´m unhappy with my life but I´ve always had a contemplative and pensive mind (a heavy-hearted character trait, so to speak) which led to losing myself in worlds of thought and creating fantasy scenarios following the "What if...?"-train of thought. For example, when I was younger I was dreaming of living in a different age as a princess or a farmer´s girl who gets to know a shining knight ...it was just fantasizing and I think it was the subconscious attempt of my mind to process and handle all the informations about life and history I gathered while growing up.

There was a time, a phase in my life between the age of 9 and 13 maybe, where I would never fall asleep without creating my own "fantasy movie" beforehand while lying in my bed and trying to fall asleep. Back in that age I had a very pictorial and visual mind so I could create scenarios with people I knew (both liked and disliked persons) in completely altered surroundings or settings: For instance, I could create a dangerous adventure setting for my school friends or my school class and was able to "think" the movie in real-time with all "actors" having a specific role in it. I know this sounds strange but I loved to do that after going to bed. Often these "dreams" (while still being fully awake) were so exciting and wacky that I couldn´t fall asleep for the rest of the night. When I had arguments with my family or stress in school or with my friends I would go to bed for one or two hours in the afternoon just to relax by creating a new scenario...

Well, while growing up I increasingly lost my ability to create real-time scenarios in bed. I can´t keep the pictures, can´t create the strings and I´m unable to fantasize like I did before. Somehow I lost large parts of my visual mind and my creativity to perform such mental work. When I try it today, I can visualize the people but I´m incapable to give them "roles" and to embed them in a scenario distant from reality.

Maybe such creative and imaginative capabilities are restricted to the youths?

Anyway, as you already said I think that some form of Escapism and dissatisfaction with the own life (even when it´s a good life and even when we know how good we have it) is absolutely normal to some extend. It could be a form of understanding and accepting reality. We humans are spirited minds after all, and we can create alternative scenarios and different worlds just with our own minds! Isn´t that a great gift?

Sometimes I´m pondering about my gone youth and regret that that very period of my life is already over. Childhood and the teenage years were a very special time in our lives when we hadn´t the sorrows and burdens of grown-ups and adults. Similar to such form of melancholia I sometimes think about the few deciding moments in my life by now and what could have been if I had taken different decisions (See following thread about it: http://forums.skadi.net/showthread.php?t=141585).

But at the end we have to accept what we are and that life isn´t perfect and will never meet the hopes of our dreams. That we have the ability to think about potential other ways is a great gift and makes us unique compared to the animals. The negative aspect of the ability of thinking and cogitation is that it could lead to regret, melancholia and sometimes even depression. We all know the saying that people who don´t think much don´t have many problems. We only become aware of problems if we reflect issues and taking-the-inward-turn.
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Old Friday, April 6th, 2012   #15
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Originally Posted by Thusnelda View Post
Dear feisty, I guess I´m able to relate to your experiences as I have and had similar thoughts and imaginings in my life, combined with quite strong feelings of melancholia (which is completely different to depression).

It´s not that I´m unhappy with my life but I´ve always had a contemplative and pensive mind (a heavy-hearted character trait, so to speak) which led to losing myself in worlds of thought and creating fantasy scenarios following the "What if...?"-train of thought. For example, when I was younger I was dreaming of living in a different age as a princess or a farmer´s girl who gets to know a shining knight ...it was just fantasizing and I think it was the subconscious attempt of my mind to process and handle all the informations about life and history I gathered while growing up.

There was a time, a phase in my life between the age of 9 and 13 maybe, where I would never fall asleep without creating my own "fantasy movie" beforehand while lying in my bed and trying to fall asleep. Back in that age I had a very pictorial and visual mind so I could create scenarios with people I knew (both liked and disliked persons) in completely altered surroundings or settings: For instance, I could create a dangerous adventure setting for my school friends or my school class and was able to "think" the movie in real-time with all "actors" having a specific role in it. I know this sounds strange but I loved to do that after going to bed. Often these "dreams" (while still being fully awake) were so exciting and wacky that I couldn´t fall asleep for the rest of the night. When I had arguments with my family or stress in school or with my friends I would go to bed for one or two hours in the afternoon just to relax by creating a new scenario...

Well, while growing up I increasingly lost my ability to create real-time scenarios in bed. I can´t keep the pictures, can´t create the strings and I´m unable to fantasize like I did before. Somehow I lost large parts of my visual mind and my creativity to perform such mental work. When I try it today, I can visualize the people but I´m incapable to give them "roles" and to embed them in a scenario distant from reality.

Maybe such creative and imaginative capabilities are restricted to the youths?

Anyway, as you already said I think that some form of Escapism and dissatisfaction with the own life (even when it´s a good life and even when we know how good we have it) is absolutely normal to some extend. It could be a form of understanding and accepting reality. We humans are spirited minds after all, and we can create worlds just with our own minds! Isn´t that a great gift?

Sometimes I´m pondering about my gone youth and regret that that very period of my life is already over. Childhood and the teenage years are a very special time in our lives when we hadn´t the sorrows and burdens of grown-ups and adults. Similar to such form of melancholia I sometimes think about the few deciding moments in my life by now and what could have been if I had taken a different decision (See following thread about it: http://forums.skadi.net/showthread.php?t=141585)

But at the end we have to accept what we are and and that life isn´t perfect. That we have the ability to think about potential other ways is a great gift and makes us unique compared to the animals. The negative aspect of the ability of thinking and cogitation is that it could lead to regret, melancholia and sometimes even depression. We all know the saying that people who don´t think much don´t have many problems. We only become aware of problems if we reflect issues and taking-the-inward-turn.
Your ability to visualize elaborate scenarios like that for long periods of time in dreams was quite extraodinary. I had similar experiences but nothing like that and I even wished for a period that I could do what you did, but I realized I lacked the mental talent to do so. I had a little bit of what you describe, but not enough to give me relief from my escapist desires. That's why I tried substances. I also experienced what you experienced with age at about 17 or 18; a decline in the ability of my visual mind to create elaborate, wacky scenarios in dreams and when I was in my own world. So naturally I now had to make up new ways to escape.
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Old Friday, April 6th, 2012   #16
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Your ability to visualize elaborate scenarios like that for long periods of time in dreams was quite extraodinary. I had similar experiences but nothing like that and I even wished for a period that I could do what you did, but I realized I lacked the mental talent to do so.
Well, we call it "talent" but other called it a "burden" or "vexation": My tendency to daydream and to lose my mind in thoughts.

But back to your initial post, I know from where you´re coming. Similar to you, I dreamed and relieved myself from momentarily sadness by self-persuading and imagining that when I´m grown up everything will be great and maybe even perfect (if I take the chance and make the right decisions) but even back then I had the displeasing gut feeling that chances are high that the outcome will be different. Many of my hopes and visions from back then resulted in a disillusioned and disenchanted contemporary time but I wouldn´t say that life is bad. It just doesn´t meet my dreams because...it´s the reality. And "reality" and "dreams" are two polar opposites who harmonize as good as never which each other. Very less people have the luck to be able to combine dream and reality to a perfect life.
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Old Friday, April 6th, 2012   #17
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Well, we call it "talent" but other called it a "burden" or "vexation": My tendency to daydream and to lose my mind in thoughts.

But back to your initial post, I know from where you´re coming. Similar to you, I dreamed and relieved myself from momentarily sadness by self-persuading and imagining that when I´m grown up everything will be great and maybe even perfect (if I take the chance and make the right decisions) but even back then I had the displeasing gut feeling that chances are high that the outcome will be different. Many of my hopes and visions from back then resulted in a disillusioned and disenchanted contemporary time but I wouldn´t say that life is bad. It just doesn´t meet my dreams because...it´s the reality. And "reality" and "dreams" are two polar opposites who harmonize as good as never which each other. Very less people have the luck to be able to combine dream and reality to a perfect life.
Some might call it "neurotic" or "thinking too much" yes, but I refer to it as a talent because it takes away all the boredom, insecurity, anxiety, and unhappiness by channeling the energy of those bad feelings into something entertaining to distract yourself. Not everyone can find some way to do this, and they are often needy, addictive, and have problems in real life (ie. school or job).
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