Quote:
1. Breakfast At Tiffany's
Year: 1961
In the history of inexplicable Hollywood racism, Breakfast at Tiffany’s takes the motherfuckin’ rice cake. Nobody would've noticed had director Blake Edwards removed the random, inconsequential character of Mr. Yunioshi, gold digging Holly Golightly’s bumbling, annoying Japanese neighbor, but there he is, sticking out like the two-inch buckteeth Mickey Rooney in yellowface sports to complete his look and ensure that the movie, like his portrayal, is ah-so disrespectfur.
2. Planet of the Apes
Year: 1968
"No, no," they say, "it's a deep allegory about race, politics, and power! It's not racist!" Right. We see light-skinned apes commanding thuggish dark-skinned apes as fearful whiteys cower in terror. Call us simpletons, but you really need to watch this one again—on weed.
3. Soul Man
Year: 1986
When '80s funnyman C. Thomas Howell (we're assuming the "C." stands for "Cracker") can't afford to pay for college, he puts on blackface and steals a scholarship designated for minorities. Spoiled white boys need Affirmative Action too! The most racist part about this movie isn't that he's in blackface (although that's pretty fuckin' racist too)—it's the fact that we're supposed to believe that everyone else buys it without even questioning why he looks like an Aryan douche covered in shoe polish. Even his black girlfriend, played by miscegenation master Rae Dawn Chong, doesn't catch on after she sees him naked!
4. The Passion of the Christ
Year: 2004
Who needed a drunken rant to know that Mel Gibson hates Jews? In his depiction of the Crucifixion of Christ—who, coincidentally, is portrayed by white actor Jim Caveziel even though everybody knows Black Jesus was black—the Chosen People are a vile, bloodthirsty horde that takes great pleasure in watching God's son suffer for the sins of man. Gibson gets a gold Star of David for this one—David Duke, that is.
5. Sixteen Candles
Year: 1984
John Hughes' icon of '80s teen cinema is also an icon of American racism, thanks to the infamous exchange student Long Duk Dong. Played by Japanese-American actor Gedde Watanabe, the comic relief role had an entire generation of asshole white kids rolling in the aisles thanks to his drunken school dance antics, emasculating romance, and absurd bastardizations of the English language. We feel sorry for all the Asian kids who got called "Donger" for a decade after this movie came out. *Gong*
6. White Chicks
Year: 2004
We would call this movie an example of reverse racism at its finest, but that would imply that we condone a certain type of racism, and frankly, it's all the same to us. So when the youngest Wayans brothers donned whiteface to crack some jokes at the expense of white people, we laughed. And laughed again when they sang some Vanessa Carlton. But that doesn't make it right. No, not in the least.
7. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Year: 2009
Transformers are an advanced race of alien robots who learn about human culture from TV and radio, so you might excuse twins Skids and Mudflap for their ill-behaved bickering, foul-mouthed jive-talking, gold-capped buckteeth, and illiteracy (maybe they watched Bébé's Kids or something). But director Michael Bay? Nah, that honky just loves black stereotypes.
8. Every Rob Schneider Movie
Year: 1963 (birth)-present
Adam Sandler's bit-part-playin' buddy is a modern minstrel who has played (and played out) Chinese (I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry), Hawaiians (50 First Dates), Arabs (You Don't Mess with the Zohan), and Native Americans (Bedtime Stories). He's argued that it's OK because he has a little Filipino in him (ayo!) and because he just happened to be the actor best suited to mock a people. We argue, "Fuck you, Rob."
9. Song of the South
Year: 1946
Everyone knows Disney has a long history of racist characters, but nothing is quite as uncomfortable to watch as this long-forgotten tale about post-Civil War plantation life. Despite the attempted message of racial unity (two little white kids make friends with a jolly black storyteller...Hooray!), this mix of live action and animation too easily glosses over the seriousness of the time, thanks to songs like "Zip-A-Dee-Do-Dah!" There's no way Uncle Remus was that happy.
10. Bulworth
Year: 1998
What happens when a middle-aged white politician picks up the mic and starts rapping? The most embarrassing and racially insensitive two hours ever committed to celluloid, that's what. We don't care if Warren Beatty did run through 12,000 chicks, he's still banned from the Complex Hall Of Fame.
Continued: