Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

The Art of Being a Gentleman

Collapse
This is a sticky topic.
X
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Two ethical manuals that I might suggest are:

    Havamal.

    Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation, penned by George Washington but largely an English translation of a French Jesuit tome on etiquette.

    http://www.foundationsmag.com/civility.html
    'Militia est vita hominis super terram [The life of man upon earth is a warfare] (Job 7:1).'

    Comment


    • Originally posted by Thusnelda View Post
      But how should I know that they are used from the outside to the inside?
      By reading about it, just like I did. Alto I forgot to mention there are different ways to order the cutlery and other things to be put on the table. So there are some variances.

      I always thought they are there to clean your mouth or hands.
      I give a score of 2 out of 3 . That is indeed what they are for, the third function is to help protect your clothing.

      And after then some looking up about the why you lay them down on your lap, because that serves as a signal to the staff that they can start serving and that the napkins will not be in the way.



      Wanna have a seat in our dining room?
      What is on the fire ?
      The sense of honor is of so fine and delicate a nature that
      it is only to be met with in minds which are naturally noble or
      cultivated by good examples and a refined education.
      - Sir Richard Steele

      Comment


      • The Havemal and good ethics require men to respect women and behave as gentlemen at all times.

        Comment


        • I don't go in for the effeminate rituals of being a gentleman, poncing about with what fork goes with what is just daft and pointless. GentleMAN! I'm more of a barbarian at heart and I believe that the acts of being a gentleman should have a practical use more than just for show.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by renownedwolf View Post
            I don't go in for the effeminate rituals of being a gentleman, poncing about with what fork goes with what is just daft and pointless. GentleMAN! I'm more of a barbarian at heart and I believe that the acts of being a gentleman should have a practical use more than just for show.
            1st: Proper manners is a way of respect.
            2nd: Proper manners, or the lack thereof, shows who belongs and who does not.

            There time and place for proper manners is always right here and now:

            .


            Between gentlemen, even a duel is no excuse for bad manners.

            Comment


            • Neophyte, you reminded me of this film... itself a must see for those interested in the gentlemanly and chivalrous art of the duel.

              The Duellists


              And a more Germanic tradition, from the film version of Der Untertan:

              Mensur
              Most people think as they are trained to think, and most people make a majority.

              Comment


              • Originally posted by GroeneWolf View Post
                What is on the fire ?


                Pig, what else? Like it“s good tradition among Germanic and Celtic tribes...

                sigpic
                "Judge of your natural character by what you do in your dreams" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

                Comment


                • Originally posted by Hersir View Post
                  Once I held the door open for a woman when me and some friends were going to a pub, the girl got mad and said she could perfectly open the door herself.
                  Yes and next time you should let her do just that, along with other things that said individual might want.

                  I say a good Idea is to only treat a Lady like a Lady. Just because it is female, does not make it a Lady.

                  And Ladies are getting harder and harder to find these days but the B-s tend to grow on trees, they are a dime a dozen.

                  Personally I’m a Selective Gentleman, if the girl is worth it, then treat her like what she deserves. If she is a B then treat her likewise.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Sindig_og_stoisk View Post

                    However, the oddest response I have so far gotten was one girl whom I held the door for when we were both on our way to the campus library. The following day we were both approaching the same door again and all of a sudden she ran ahead of me, grabbed the door handle and held the door for me to pass through, giving me a wide smile as she did. How is a gentleman supposed to respond to that?
                    She probably has a fancy for you...

                    Comment


                    • I try to be courteous and gentlemanly and show high enough regard for basic etiquette such as holding open doors, pulling out chairs, helping into coats, giving directions, walking the unsafe side of the sidewalk, helping over rifts, puddles etc., offering comfort and conversation, not rubbing into a woman's face I'm better at playing the darts, you-name-it.

                      I don't try to overdo it though, your behaviour should always measure up to the situation: You don't appear at the local barbeque with your set of silver cutlery and you don't wait for the queen to be toasted at the local village festival before rising from the table. At the same time, when eating with a business partner or with someone of higher social station, the very same mannerisms might be appropriate. It is also in the idea of gentlemanly behaviour to adapt to the company and not embarrass your host by over-etiquette or under-etiquette.

                      Originally posted by Herr Weigelt View Post
                      I try and keep these formerly widely accepted male behavioral norms in mind whenever I'm out and about. I try and either let others in before me and open the door, especially for the elderly and women.
                      Don't forget however though, that when entering a restaurant or other establishment with a potentially unknown number of strangers, it is highly inappropriate for the man to let the woman walk in first: I was taught it is then considered important and appropriate that the man should make sure that the venue entered is safe for those under his protection (namely women, children, elderly) resp. deal with possible organisational arrangements (the reserved table etc. pp.) --- when you're a gentleman, you simply don't send your woman face-first into a wild-wild-west pub brawl.
                      -In kalte Schatten versunken... /Germaniens Volk erstarrt / Gefroren von Lügen / In denen die Welt verharrt-
                      -Die alte Seele trauernd und verlassen / Verblassend in einer erklärbaren Welt / Schwebend in einem Dunst der Wehmut / Ein Schrei der nur unmerklich gellt-
                      -Auch ich verspüre Demut / Vor dem alten Geiste der Ahnen / Wird es mir vergönnt sein / Gen Walhalla aufzufahren?-

                      (Heimdalls Wacht, In kalte Schatten versunken, stanzas 4-6)

                      Comment


                      • I think it is important to be a gentleman when dealing with ladies. The problem is that there are not very many women who know how to be a lady anymore. I refuse to treat a fat androgynous cow, who has no manners of her own, as a lady. Do not throw pearls before the swine they say. Respect is a two way street.
                        Apfelstrudel mit Vanillesoße, yeah I said it, what are you gonna do?

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Sigurd View Post
                          Don't forget however though, that when entering a restaurant or other establishment with a potentially unknown number of strangers, it is highly inappropriate for the man to let the woman walk in first: I was taught it is then considered important and appropriate that the man should make sure that the venue entered is safe for those under his protection (namely women, children, elderly) resp. deal with possible organisational arrangements (the reserved table etc. pp.) --- when you're a gentleman, you simply don't send your woman face-first into a wild-wild-west pub brawl.
                          Thanks for the tip. But I find it highly unlikely that people would enter a venue while a pub brawl or bar fight was breaking out. The day that I have children and/or elderly in tow with me while attending a bar or any other social event or occasion is a day that will never come.
                          sigpic
                          In hoc signo vinces
                          "Get the blacks out of my country." - Queen Elizabeth I

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by Herr Weigelt View Post
                            Thanks for the tip. But I find it highly unlikely that people would enter a venue while a pub brawl or bar fight was breaking out. The day that I have children and/or elderly in tow with me while attending a bar or any other social event or occasion is a day that will never come.
                            Of course not. I suspect the wording was meant to be taken as an 'extreme' to get the essence of the point across. Most manners and gestures are primarily symbolic, and not always performed with practicality in mind. Drawing the chair out for a woman or opening the door for her, for example, is likewise not done in the name of practicality, but in order to signify that you are looking out for her and are invested in her well-being. Opening the door or pulling out the chair herself would hardly decrease her level of physical comfort. It is just a way to display your consideration.
                            A nation is an organic thing, historically defined.
                            A wave of passionate energy which unites past, present and future generations

                            Comment


                            • Honest, courageous, intelligent, proud and fair. Not hateful nor overly loving of strangers.

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Žoreišar View Post
                                Of course not. I suspect the wording was meant to be taken as an 'extreme' to get the essence of the point across. Most manners and gestures are primarily symbolic, and not always performed with practicality in mind. Drawing the chair out for a woman or opening the door for her, for example, is likewise not done in the name of practicality, but in order to signify that you are looking out for her and are invested in her well-being. Opening the door or pulling out the chair herself would hardly decrease her level of physical comfort. It is just a way to display your consideration.
                                It is a strain to open some doors and pull out chairs. I guess it depends on the woman. I'm glad most supermarkets have automatic opening doors. There is one small Italian store I'd like to shop more often in but the door is so hard to open. I've given up and passed by the store instead of entering because the door is so hard to open. I just don't have the strength. I'd wait until someone was leaving and then try to wedge my way in. Seriously. And it looks bad straining to hold it open to get in. You'd think the owner doesn't want customers.

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X