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View Full Version : A good spoof of Evangelical godidiots (is there anyone dumber than a Protestant?)



friedrich braun
Saturday, January 17th, 2004, 09:51 AM
Landover Baptist Church
Guaranteed Salvation Since 1612
Where the Worthwhile Worship
(Unsaved Unwelcome)

http://www.animaldefense.org/landover.html

Fellowship Baptist Creation Scientists (fighting on the side of angels and the "Intelligent Designer", i.e., the Jew-in-the sky Yahweh):

http://objective.jesussave.us/creationsciencefair.html

gorgeousgal2k2
Saturday, January 31st, 2004, 12:32 PM
Landover Baptist Church
Guaranteed Salvation Since 1612
Where the Worthwhile Worship
(Unsaved Unwelcome)

http://www.animaldefense.org/landover.html

Fellowship Baptist Creation Scientists (fighting on the side of angels and the "Intelligent Designer", i.e., the Jew-in-the sky Yahweh):

http://objective.jesussave.us/creationsciencefair.html

im no great fan of christianity myself but dont u think its a bit hypocritical to mock others for their beliefs a lot of which you actually share yourself?

:anieyes:

Galahad
Saturday, January 31st, 2004, 04:03 PM
Landover Baptist Church
Guaranteed Salvation Since 1612
Where the Worthwhile Worship
(Unsaved Unwelcome)

http://www.animaldefense.org/landover.html

Fellowship Baptist Creation Scientists (fighting on the side of angels and the "Intelligent Designer", i.e., the Jew-in-the sky Yahweh):

http://objective.jesussave.us/creationsciencefair.html

While evolution is an interesting phenomenon, I don't think it accounts for creation.

How could god be "the jew in the sky" if Jews are the spawn of the devil that murdered Christ?

"If I had to baptize a Jew, I would take him to the river Elbe, hang a stone around his neck and push him over with the words `I baptize thee in the name of Abraham'." - Martin Luther

Milesian
Saturday, January 31st, 2004, 05:59 PM
The Landover Baptist site is actually a spoof thats been around for a while ;)

Taras Bulba
Saturday, January 31st, 2004, 06:08 PM
The Landover Baptist site is actually a spoof thats been around for a while ;)
Yes I know, I remember a few years ago reading about how you should be good so you don't go to hell, otherwise you'll spend eternity with a bunch of gibberish talking Hindus and Chinese people. :rotfl

hchalice
Monday, May 10th, 2004, 03:08 AM
is there anyone dumber than a Protestant?

why YES

someone who does not understand that Protestantism is the reason for democracy and freedom of speech (which includes your ranting)

Is it that you are catholic?

Milesian
Monday, May 10th, 2004, 10:08 AM
Protestantism is the reason for democracy and freedom of speech (which includes your ranting)

We'll try not to hold that against it, though ;)


Is it that you are catholic?

Actually, Mr Braun was completely against any church at the time, Christian or allegedly-Christian :D

Imperator X
Saturday, August 14th, 2004, 09:55 AM
In regards to protestantism, is it any wonder that Protestantism is declining? All "hispanic" (more like half indians) immigration aside, Protestantism simply does not have the vitality of Catholicism or the eastern religions, particularly Folk Buddhism and Hinduism. Catholicism and other faiths use of images and magnificent architecture speak to the human need for things that convey Strength and Beauty. Whenever one goes to a Protestant church one sees no marvelous statues or candles or things of this manner, all one sees is a drab, sterile, wooden building with the only possible embellishment being a cross on the wall. (:o <yawn>

hchalice
Sunday, August 15th, 2004, 02:33 AM
Not every form of Protestantism is declining. It is the liberal forms that seem to be dying and conservative forms that are exploding. e.g. Pentecostalism in China and India (traditionally 'somewhat' buddhist and hindu countries)

Catholicism had 300 million nominal members and relies on baptised infants to swells its ranks

While you may be a pagan and forms of paganism are growing rapidly, you should not yawn out Conservative Protestantism

The Catholics and others may have lovely cathedrals and other wonderful things for people to see but their churches are empty, their clergy in a sexual uproar and their people into nominalism. Some of the aforementioned also apply for Islam.

And for the record, the Bible (if I remember correctly) states that the church is supposed to be small and persecuted.

Imperator X
Sunday, August 15th, 2004, 09:11 AM
I was yawning at the fact that Protestantism seems to simple and doesn't extol Beauty and Strength like other religions. Also I forgot to mention that Protestantism lacks any expression of the feminine, whereas despite the fact that she is portrayed as a humble mortal weeping virgin the Catholic church does atleast have Mary. Even the mystical sect, Sufi Islam has feminine expressions of God. I.e. "Al - Rahman" is a feminine title which means "the merciful". A few other of the 99 names of Allah are grammatically feminine.

Heritage
Monday, December 6th, 2004, 02:28 AM
While I totally agree with you that the catholic cathedrals are absolutly stunning (my #1 priority when I go to catholic countries) it is an superficial form of faith.

We protestans (and lutherans most of all) come from stern, unforgiving surroundings. One of the greatest Lutherans ever, King Gustav I Vasa of Sweden, recognised this. Sweden is a cold, desolate country, and the catholic church was sucking the marrow out of the entire country. The people couldn't read the most important document in the nation, the bible, and not even understand the priest! The church owned all the riches in the land.

So our most Honoured Kings decision was easy. Confiscate the churchs belongings, make cannons of the churchbells. Feed the people, and build up the army to repel any future Danish invasions. We have this to thank that we are not a Danish province. The bishops lived like kings before the Swedish reformation. Afterwards only true christians remained.
The tradition now is simple wood- or stone buildings, just as you describe them. The only exeptions are the big old catholic churches who has been restored as an historical curiosa.
Can the suffering of Jesus Christ really be understood in an enviroment filled with beutiful statues and plenty of gold? Truely, Luther led us back to the path of Jesus Christ, from which the pope and the catholic church had led us so astray. Faith is not about building impressive buildings and pretending that Jesus has an 'replacer' on earth. By what right can the pope claim to be infallible!? Not even Jesus made that claim! Only One is infallible.

Meh, now I am ranting.

SiegUmJedenPreis
Monday, December 6th, 2004, 08:42 AM
Not every form of Protestantism is declining. It is the liberal forms that seem to be dying and conservative forms that are exploding. e.g. Pentecostalism in China and India (traditionally 'somewhat' buddhist and hindu countries)

The same is true with the Catholic Church. You'd be surprised how many protestant coverts the RC receives into the church every year.(And these are adults, not infants)

Catholicism had 300 million nominal members and relies on baptised infants to swells its ranks.

Close. the RC has a membership of over 1 billion. But about + - 500 million practice their faith(when I last checked)

The Catholics and others may have lovely cathedrals and other wonderful things for people to see but their churches are empty, their clergy in a sexual uproar and their people into nominalism. Some of the aforementioned also apply for Islam


Statistically, protestant denominations are even worse. But with a denomination a billion in size(or 500 million, which ever way you want to see it), you can expect the number to be bigger.

SiegUmJedenPreis
Monday, December 6th, 2004, 09:12 AM
Can the suffering of Jesus Christ really be understood in an enviroment filled with beutiful statues and plenty of gold? Truely, Luther led us back to the path of Jesus Christ, from which the pope and the catholic church had led us so astray. Faith is not about building impressive buildings and pretending that Jesus has an 'replacer' on earth. By what right can the pope claim to be infallible!? Not even Jesus made that claim! Only One is infallible.


I can totally understand your objections. I must say Martin Luther is the only reformer I have respect for. All the others merely rode on the wave he started.(His was a true valid greavance)

I remember living in a area with 2 catholic churches. One being for the poor and one being for the rich. You can imagine the difference in how these churches look inside and outside.

The rich church had the most beautiful interior. But I hated going to it. The atmosphere was one of pretense and hypocrisy.

Now the poor church looked pretty dreary in comparison. But I have never experienced such loving and honest devotion in my life. Needless to say, I never went back to the rich one again.

As for the Pope being infallible. That one of the most misunderstood of all Catholic teachings. (Notice it only includes Faith and Morals)

When the Pope (1) intends to teach (2) by virtue of his supreme authority (3) on a matter of faith and morals (4) to the whole Church, he is preserved by the Holy Spirit from error. His teaching act is therefore called "infallible" and the teaching which he articulates is termed "irreformable".

- infallibility doesn't mean he can sin or make a mistake

Heritage
Monday, December 6th, 2004, 04:36 PM
Ah well, as a Swede I must admit a bit of ignorance on the finer points of the catholic faith, our Kings of old genereally had a pretty bad relashionship with that particular branch of christianity, and has not done much to encourage an dialogue with our southern brothers in Christ.

I can also understand that some people convert, it is - after all - very impressive buildings and rituals.
Our own church dosn't rely much on conversations, it relies on the steady feeling it confers, like it has always been there and it will still be there at the end of time, no matter what happens. The current liberal crisis will be resolved, I am sure, and the church will return to it's rightful place as a part of the Swedish state.