View Full Version : (Humor) Causes of Death of Philosophers

Sunday, September 14th, 2003, 05:15 AM
Just thought I'd add something funny I found on the internet. :D

Causes of death of philosophers

Abelard: Nun
Adorno: Bad frankfurter
Albert: Undermind
Anaxagoras: Burned up
Anaximander: Infinite causes
Anaximenes: Evaporated
Anscombe: By intention
Anselm: Disease than which no deadlier can be conceived
Aquinas: First causes
Aristotle: Excessive moderation
Armstrong: Indisposed
Arrow: Voted out
Audi: Durch Technik
Augustine: Hippo
Austin: Executionary act
Ayer: Unverifiable
Bacon, F: Hit by idol in market place
Bacon, J: De trope
Barwise: Bad situation
Belnap: Became irrelevant
Benacerraf: Number was up
Bennett: Taking the consequences
Bentham: Fell off his stilts
Bergson: Elan mortel
Berkeley: Divine neglect
Blackburn: Quasi-life
Block: Trouble with bodily function
Bradley: Absolutely everything
Bratman: As planned
Bruce Le Catt: Curiosity
Burge: Something like arthritis
Buridan: Asinine starvation
Burke: Sublimated
Calvin: Boredom
Campbell, K: Epiphenomenal causes
Camus: The plague
Cantor: Set aside
Carnap: Left the material mode
Cartwright, Nancy: Incapacitated
Cartwright, Richard: Satisfied a negative existential
Cassirer: Symbolic causes
Chisholm: Lost his foundations
Chomsky: Degenerative transformation
Church: Recursive causes
Churchland(s): Eliminated
Coady: No telling
Cohen, G: Missed the marks
Collingwood: Entered history
Comte: Went negative
Copernicus: Revolution
Cournot: Became too improbable
Craig, E: Work of God
Crane: Lost his representations
Cresswell: Outmoded
Dancy: No particular reason
Danto: Artfully transfigured
Darwin: Unfit
Davidson: Radically different schematosis
Dawkins: Suicidal genes
Democritus: Atomised
Dennett: Lost consciousness
Derrida: Deconstructed
Descartes: Stopped thinking
Devitt: Naturalised causes
Devlin: Fell off Clapham omnibus
Dewey: Became part of the environment
Dingler: Unsuccessful experiments
Diodorus: Mastered by the argument
Diogenes: Exposure
Dretske: No indications
Dreyfus: Computerised
Dudman: Conditional causes
Dummett: Unverifiable causes
Duns Scotus: Being univocal to an accident
Dupre: Disorder
Durkheim: Suicide
Dworkin: Lost his rights
Earman: Inextendible world-line
Einstein: Diced with God
Eliot: Eructation of unhealthy souls
Emmet: Passage of nature
Empedocles: Cosmic cycle accident
Epicurus: Nothing to worry about
Feigl: Nomological dangler
Feyerabend: Everything went
Fichte: Non-ego takeover
Field: Weight of numbers
Fine: Shook up
Flew: Met the great equaliser
Fodor: Fell off Granny's knee
Follesdal: Noematheosis
Foot: Ungrounded
Foucault: Disempowered
Frankfurt: Revised his will
Frege: Fell under a concept
Freud: Slipped
Gadamer: Lost horizons
Galen: Lost his sense of humours
Galileo: Stopped moving
Gasset, Ortego y: Circumstancial
Geach: Reference failure
Gentzen: Cut turned septic
Gettier: Fatal counter-example
Gewirth: Dialectical necessity
Glymour: Tripped over his own boostraps
Godel: Became incomplete
Goldman: Unknown internal causes
Goodman: Gruesome bleen infection
Gorgias: Annihilated
Grice: Non-natural
Grosseteste: Encephalitis
Grunbaum: Psyched out
Gupta: Became unstable
Habermas: A discourse condition
Hare: Wrong prescription
Haugeland: Entered excluded zone
Heal: Dissimulation
Hegel: Gave up the Geist
Heidegger: Timeless causes
Heisenberg: Uncertain causes
Hempel: Explained away
Heraclitus: Fell in the same river twice
Hilbert: Informal causes
Hinckfuss: Fit of morality
Hintikka: Lost his normal forms
Hobbes: Nasty causes
Hofstadter: Holistic trap
Honderich: Misunderstood causes
Horwich: Deflated
Hume: Unknown causes
Husserl: Phenomenally bad luck
Jackson: Saw red
James, W: The will to leave
Jaspers: Essence exhausted
Jeffrey: Indecision
Johnson, S: Kicked the bucket
Kamp: Ran out of time
Kant: Found the means to his own end
Kaplan: This and that
Katz: Decomposed
Keynes: Entered the long run
Kierkegaard: Sick to death
Kim: Supervened on nothing
Kitcher: Vaulting
Korsgaard: Kant tell
Koslow: Structural failure
Kripke: Went rigid
Kuhn: Paradigm lost
Kyburg: Low frequency
Lacan: Lack
Lakatos: Degenerated
La Mettrie: Machination
Langer: Ran out of new keys
Laplace: Prior arrangement
Leibniz: Monadnucleosis
Lesniewski: De-parted
Levi: Contracted corpus
Levina: Merged with others
Levi-Strauss: Cooked
Lewis, C I: No more givens
Lewis, D: Joined his counterparts
Lipton: Unexplained
Locke: No idea
Lovejoy: Being unchained
Lloyd: loss of bodily humours
Lucretius: Bumped off
Luther: Diet of worms
Lyotard: Post post-modernism
Mach: Unsensational causes
Machiavelli: Intriguing causes
MacIntyre: After-virtue infection
Mackie: An inus condition
Maimonides: Lost his guide
Malcolm: Undreamed of causes
Malebranche: Occasional causes
Marcuse: Became multi-dimensional
Martin, C B: Lockejaw
Marx: Material causes
Matravers: Art attack
Maxwell: Demonic possession
McCall: Branch fell off
McCulloch: Went out of his head
McDowell: Left the space of reasons
McGinn: Case closed
McTaggart: Untimely causes
Meinong: Lack of subsistence
Mellor: By chance
Merleau-Ponty: Perceptions blacked out
Mill: Depsychologised
Millikan: Devolved
Montague: Disfunction
Moore: By his own hand, obviously
Nagel, Ernest: Reduction
Nagel, Tom: Going nowhere
Nerlich: Spaced out
Neurath: Lost at sea
Newcomb: Too boxed
Newton: Kicked the bucket
Nietzsche: Overpowered himself
Noonan: Unidentified assailant
Nozick: Lost track
O'Shaughnessy: Lost the will
Ockham: Accident with razor
Oddie: Flew too close to the truth
Paley: By design
Papineau: Supernaturalised
Paracelsus: Stabbed
Parfit: Mistaken identity
Parmenides: No two ways
Pascal: The wagers of sin
Passmore: 100 years of philosophy
Pavlov: Reflexed
Peacocke: Discontent
Peirce: Abducted
Penrose: Became computable
Perry: Lost himself
Pettit: Stopped responding
Pherecydes: Lice
Piaget: Undeveloped causes
Place: Brained
Plantinga: Of necessity
Plato: Caved in
Pollock: Defeated
Popper: Falsified
Price: Backward causes
Priest: Became more dead than alive
Prior: Past it
Protagoras: Eaten by fish
Putnam: Fell in the twater
Pyrrho: Scepticemia
Pythagoras: Squared on the hypotenuse
Quine: Semantic ascent
Rand, Ayn: Objectified ego
Ramsey: Made redundant
Rawls: Unveiled
Redhead: Robust causes
Reichenbach: Common causes
Rescher: Incoherence
Rorty: No foundations
Rousseau: Contract job
Russell: Vicious circle
Ryle: Gave up the ghost
Salmon: Fishy causal process
Sartre: Nothing doing
Saussure: Parole revoked
Scheler: Became objectively valued
Schlesinger: Became hypertensed
Schlick: Collapsed protocol
Schopenhauer: Involuntary causes
Searle: Chinese food
Sellars: Slipped on slope
Sextus Empiricus: Doubtful causes
Sheffer: Stroke
Shoemaker: Loss of identity
Simons: Departed
Singer: Liberated
Skinner, B F: Bad behaviour
Slote: Had enough
Smart: Dematerialised
Smiley: Multiple conclusions
Smith, A: Invisible hand
Smith, P: Unanalysed
Socrates: Consumption
Sorabji: Four causes
Sperber: Became irrelevant
Spinoza: Substance abuse
Stalnaker: Inquiry pending
Strawson: Unidentified
Sylvan: Lost in jungle
Tanner: Gotterdammerung
Tarski: 'Death'
Taylor: Renounced agency
Taylor, Tre: Excessive Orgasmic Bliss
Thales: Drowned
Tuomela: Group decision
Turing: Solved the halting problem
Unger: Never knew
Van Fraassen: Empirical inadequacy
Vico: Recycled
Von Wright: By obligation
Walton: Make-believe
Warburton: Went back to basics
Weber: Overwork
Wheeler: Manifold causes
Whitehead: Procession
Wiggins: Substantial change
Williams: Bored with immortality
Winch: Witchcraft
Wisdom: Other minds
Wittgenstein: Became the late Wittgenstein
Wolf: Sanctified
Wright: Minimal causes
Zeno: Run over by a tortoise

Monday, September 15th, 2003, 12:29 AM
THat's really funny. What site did you get it off of?

Monday, September 15th, 2003, 11:25 PM
I was searching for stuff on Martin Heidegger and I found that here: http://www.planetpdf.com/ebooks/ebook-list/ebook-list-14569.html :)

Tuesday, September 16th, 2003, 06:46 PM
You left out the man himself!
Spengler - Declined.

Wednesday, September 17th, 2003, 04:36 AM
ROFL. That was good :D

Yockey - Imperialised.

Ominous Lord Spoonblade
Friday, September 19th, 2003, 12:48 AM
hahaha, this is so dorky, but I love it:
Pythagoras: Squared on the hypotenuse


Friday, October 10th, 2003, 02:22 PM
Dostoyevsky: Doubled.