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Libertad
Sunday, September 26th, 2004, 03:34 AM
Instructions on How to Cry

Putting the reasons for crying aside for the moment, we might concentrate on the correct way to cry, which, be it understood, means a weeping that doesn’t turn into a big commotion nor proves an affront to the smile with its parallel and dull similarity. The average, everyday weeping consists of a general contraction of the face and a spasmodic sound accompanied by tears and mucus, this last toward the end, since the cry ends at the point when one energetically blows one’s nose.

In order to cry, steer the imagination toward yourself, and it this proves impossible owing to having contacted the habit of believing in the exterior world, think of a duck covered with ants or of those gulfs in the Strait of Magellan into which no one sails ever.

Coming to the weeping itself, cover the face decorously, using both hands, palms inward. Children are to cry with the sleeve of the dress or shirt pressed against the face, preferably in a corner of the room. Average duration of the cry, three minutes.

Julio Cortázar's book, "Cronopios and Famas".

Original:
Instrucciones para llorar.
Dejando de lado los motivos, atengámonos a la manera correcta de llorar, entendiendo por esto un llanto que no ingrese en el escándalo, ni que insulte
a la sonrisa con su paralela y torpe semejanza. El llanto medio u ordinario consiste en una contracción general del rostro y un sonido espasmódico acompañado de lágrimas y mocos, estos últimos al final, pues el llanto se acaba en el momento en que uno se suena enérgicamente.

Para llorar, dirija la imaginación hacia usted mismo, y si esto le resulta imposible por haber contraído el hábito de creer en el mundo exterior, piense en un pato cubierto de hormigas o en esos golfos del estrecho de Magallanes en los que no entra nadie, nunca.

Llegado el llanto, se tapará con decoro el rostro usando ambas manos con la palma hacia adentro. Los niños llorarán con la manga del saco contra la cara, y de preferencia en un rincón del cuarto. Duración media del llanto, tres minutos.
-----------

What do you think emotional self-control about?
I'm south american I almost haven't it.

Prussian
Sunday, September 26th, 2004, 03:48 AM
.......I happen to cry everytime I look in the mirror:D :P (j/k)

TisaAnne
Sunday, September 26th, 2004, 04:24 AM
Coming to the weeping itself, cover the face decorously, using both hands, palms inward. Children are to cry with the sleeve of the dress or shirt pressed against the face, preferably in a corner of the room. Average duration of the cry, three minutes.
Seriously??? :eyes

I guess I was never taught the proper crying etiquette....I tend to blubber like a baby, not discreetly with my face covered decorously. :D

And only 3 minutes??? Ha...who are they trying to kid? ;)

Ewergrin
Sunday, September 26th, 2004, 05:21 AM
I think all women are born with the ability to cry for absolutely no reason, at the most inopportune times, as a first instinct before reason, rationale, logic, and comprehension ever even make it through the door.

Libertad
Sunday, September 26th, 2004, 08:00 AM
I think all women are born with the ability to cry for absolutely no reason, at the most inopportune times, as a first instinct before reason, rationale, logic, and comprehension ever even make it through the door.But, What does Big Brother's Eye think him-self about?

Zyklop
Sunday, September 26th, 2004, 08:08 AM
I think all women are born with the ability to cry for absolutely no reason, at the most inopportune times, as a first instinct before reason, rationale, logic, and comprehension ever even make it through the door.

It´s a simple trick learned during childhood. Little boys also cry to manipulate their parents but sooner or later they will stop it for being considered sissies at kindergarten or school while girls can improve their crying skills up to adulthood.

Libertad
Sunday, September 26th, 2004, 08:18 AM
When do men cry?

svartabrandr
Sunday, September 26th, 2004, 08:43 AM
When do men cry?
All the time. I'm crying right now.:D

Libertad
Sunday, September 26th, 2004, 09:29 AM
All the time. I'm crying right now.:D
I'm sorry if you are sad right now.

But, do you only cry when you are alone?
If something bad happens (or sad thoughts) to you, and you are with other people...
Do you cry or do you have your-self control?

Zyklop
Sunday, September 26th, 2004, 09:36 AM
Men shouldn´t publicly cry at all. A father for example has to protect his family and be a role model for his kids. How can he do this when he breaks down and cries?

Ewergrin
Sunday, September 26th, 2004, 01:54 PM
Men shouldn´t publicly cry at all. A father for example has to protect his family and be a role model for his kids. How can he do this when he breaks down and cries?

I think it's perfectly fine for men to do it in private. It releases a lot of stress, and you feel better afterwards. I myself have a habit of going quite a long time without doing it, even when I should be doing it (death in the family, close friend, or sad occassions in general), then usually I will wake myself up in the middle of the night sobbing like a woman. This may last an hour or so. It's done in private, I feel better afterwards and only my wife knows about it.....wait.. DAMN!

Zyklop
Sunday, September 26th, 2004, 02:10 PM
I think it's perfectly fine for men to do it in private. It releases a lot of stress, and you feel better afterwards. I myself have a habit of going quite a long time without doing it, even when I should be doing it (death in the family, close friend, or sad occassions in general), then usually I will wake myself up in the middle of the night sobbing like a woman. This may last an hour or so. It's done in private, I feel better afterwards and only my wife knows about it.....wait.. DAMN!

Yes, the problem is doing it publicly. I didn´t say that men shouldn´t cry at all. Women who take care of their children while their men ar at war also shouldn´t cry in front of them because they only would get frightened. Nothing wrong with crying in privat.

bocian
Sunday, September 26th, 2004, 02:12 PM
I think it's perfectly fine for men to do it in private. It releases a lot of stress, and you feel better afterwards. I myself have a habit of going quite a long time without doing it, even when I should be doing it (death in the family, close friend, or sad occassions in general), then usually I will wake myself up in the middle of the night sobbing like a woman. This may last an hour or so. It's done in private, I feel better afterwards and only my wife knows about it.....wait.. DAMN!

Nothing wrong with shedding a tear or two. I've done it many times.

One has to 'release' once in a while, whether it be in front of the TV, watching a movie, or waking up in the middle of the night sobbing like a child.

My wife has seen me do it many times and doesn't think anything of it. She'll usually come, gently caress me and wait till I'm finished.

Admittedly, this 'release' sometimes comes after I've had one too many brews, but not always.

svartabrandr
Sunday, September 26th, 2004, 06:18 PM
The last time I cried was at a funeral a couple of years ago. I rarely cry but I do get watery eyes regularly when I see something beautiful or sad.

Aistulf
Monday, September 27th, 2004, 12:59 AM
I hardly ever cry. The last time I cried was after seeying the film Olympia, which was aired on national TV (for some truly odd reason), and realized how rotten Europe is nowadays :~(

Esther_Helena
Monday, September 27th, 2004, 01:15 AM
that first post is BS, unless it's is ONLY for instructions on fake crying. Crying should be for two basic reasons (infants and babies aside), injury or emotional distress. 3 minutes, dude, who the F are you kidding? If I'm crying for some emotional reason, I need a good hour to calm down. I can't see, hear, or speak either. And reasoning is a thing of the past. I honestly don't remember the last time I cried. Although I do remember I preferred to be alone, then again that was probably b/c I got called a tittybaby or slapped in the face, or told to "shut the hell up". Yep, you can just feel the love oozing from my family. :lol: btw, I never cried over stupid crap, like not getting something I wanted, it was always family related, or close to that. Example: when my parents divorced and I learned that my dad chose not to see me just so he didn't have to pay child support, and my mom basically dumped me off at my grandparents and never came back :~(
Strangely enough, I've been to several funerals, and have had many pets to die, never did cry for them.... Of course I got yelled at for not crying when a dog of mine died. :shrug:

I'm done rambling now.

Dr. Solar Wolff
Monday, September 27th, 2004, 01:17 AM
Libertad used the word "lacrymal" in a previous post and now, again this portion of the anatomy is raised in conjunction with its function. I think Libertad may be a medical student. She at least owes us a mini-biography.

Libertad
Monday, September 27th, 2004, 02:46 AM
that first post is BS, unless it's is ONLY for instructions on fake crying. Crying should be for two basic reasons (infants and babies aside), injury or emotional distress. 3 minutes, dude, who the F are you kidding? If I'm crying for some emotional reason, I need a good hour to calm down. I can't see, hear, or speak either. And reasoning is a thing of the past. I honestly don't remember the last time I cried. Although I do remember I preferred to be alone, then again that was probably b/c I got called a tittybaby or slapped in the face, or told to "shut the hell up". Yep, you can just feel the love oozing from my family. :lol: btw, I never cried over stupid crap, like not getting something I wanted, it was always family related, or close to that. Example: when my parents divorced and I learned that my dad chose not to see me just so he didn't have to pay child support, and my mom basically dumped me off at my grandparents and never came back :~(
Strangely enough, I've been to several funerals, and have had many pets to die, never did cry for them.... Of course I got yelled at for not crying when a dog of mine died. :shrug:

I'm done rambling now.I guees you got the point that Córtazar is trying to say. He always has been ironic man.
But I'm not agree with his words (these ones).
I believe in human sensibility expression (male and female).
It ought free in sadness and hapiness.(not utmost euphory, neither utmost dramatism).
And I think self-reprimand bring on to worse sadness.

Check out the first editorial review on that page: “Anyone who doesn’t read Cortazar is doomed. Not to read him is a serious invisible disease which in time can have terrible consequences. Something similar to a man who has never tasted peaches. He would quietly become sadder… and, probably, little by little, he would lose his hair.” Pablo Neruda. ;)

AngryPotato
Monday, September 27th, 2004, 06:48 AM
What is this for? An acting class? :D

I have a problem with people that are overly emotional, but crying really is healthy depending on the situation. I don't think a man should cry in front of his children and friends, but the bond between husband & wife should be strong enough to allow you to take down this emotional wall. There's one movie that will cause me to shed a tear, but not cry. I lived my whole life without seeing my father cry once. When his mother, brothers, sister, friends, and in laws died he was rock solid. I know that he suffered and he was always a little weird on his mothers birthday, which was also the day that his father died, but never expressed it in any way. Even his last days of suffering didn't produce a whimper nor complaint out of him. The man was a rock. I know that I balled when he died and I think its the only time that my mother has seen me express any type of emotion, other than near rage, in the past 18 or so years. I too would've mourned his passing in private, but my brothers reaction had a chain effect and I couldn't bottle it up.

I always try to pass on to the young male members of my family something that I learned in school. My health teacher had instructed us about crying and how it can help to relieve our emotional pains and to go as far to turn on the shower and let it all out in the bathroom should we need such privacy to hold onto our pride. It was a good life lesson and one of the few things I truly remember from high sc
hool. :P

Libertad
Monday, September 27th, 2004, 08:33 AM
thanks for your words...;)

Olga
Monday, September 27th, 2004, 06:33 PM
I like the book on Cronopios and Famas. My favourite piece is about a man under control of his watch, anyone who had read it knows what I'm talking about :)
when it comes to crying it's ok when you're alone, or with someone who you can count on, mother or father, a close friend, a brother or a sister, in this case it remains personal. may help and shouldn't be treated as ashaming, doesn't matter who cries. someone crying in public is the most confusing view I can imagine. it may seem strange but it simply makes me angry. moreover, when crying in public, there's probable that such a person will be taken less serious. this may be one of the causes why some women come across irreverence: they weren't taught to have their emotions under control.

Prince Eugen
Tuesday, September 28th, 2004, 07:39 PM
I'm crying because i must pay some bills! :D

Johannes de León
Tuesday, September 28th, 2004, 07:53 PM
How about crying for happyness. Seems the best reason to me. :)