View Full Version : How close are you with your family?

Tuesday, April 18th, 2006, 10:03 PM
How close is everyone with their familys.Mother father sisters and brothers not marrage family.

Wednesday, April 19th, 2006, 04:10 AM
I am very close to my mother. Even though we live 8 hours apart, we talk to eachother daily. She is my best friend :D

I love my dad too. He isn't a big talker, but we email eachother a couple of times a week and talk on the phone some. He LOVES to talk to my daughter on the phone!

I have 2 younger brothers. One is 26, and is schizophrenic. We are not close and do not talk. He is adopted too but from different birth parents. He is a VERY long story...

My youngest brother is 16, and we are pretty close, but you know how teenagers are w/us older siblings(too cool, :rolleyes: LOL!). But really, we do talk 1 time a week and we email eachother.

Then, I email all my cousins, aunts, uncles, etc...on a weekly basis so I am caught up w/them as well.

So, I think I am fairly close to my family. Just wish I was a little closer to them :( I am SO thankful for today's technology!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, April 19th, 2006, 06:07 AM
My youngest brother is 16, and we are pretty close, but you know how teenagers are w/us older siblings(too cool, :rolleyes: LOL!). But really, we do talk 1 time a week and we email eachother
Ahem. ;)

Well, I am not so cose, as I would like to be, actually.
My mother and I got some issues, so it's very rare before I hear anything from her, and she hear from me.
I live with my father and his wife+26 year old son, and they are cool enough. Totally ok people.
My oldest brother is 23(or 24?) And we don't have much contact. We never had, and we don't talk when we see eachother either. We just have these fights, sometimes it's for fun, sometimes not.
My older sister(22) is the familymember I have most contact with, I speak to her atleast one time in every month.
My little half-sister is 6(Will be 7) and hardly recognise me when I see her. She treat me, and have always treated me as a stranger.
The family member I have most contact with, is my great-grandmother.

Wednesday, April 19th, 2006, 08:54 AM
Gag, you also have all of us. We are your extended folk family. :peck:

Wednesday, April 19th, 2006, 10:13 AM
Well i live with my father i recently moved back in with him.We dont talk much he is an alcoholic so its hard to relate to him.Im living there just to look after him.He and my mother split just before i was 21 but before that i was so close with my mother.Now i never see her at all too busy with different men no respect for herself.:~( . I have 2 sisters one from the marriage of my parents then one we only found out about a few years ago which was a shock.Not too close to eighter of those i miss the life of a loving family.

Wednesday, April 19th, 2006, 10:50 AM
ND, most of us have screwed up family lives. Many of us are alone mostly. Many of us have scars from this and some of these will never go away. But we have our folk family and our Heathen folk family is the closest people will get without actually being related directly. I hate with a vengeance anyone who tries to break this up by making us fight one another. If we do nothing else we must knit up the broken threads in our folk tapestry and prevent at all costs anyone ever again forcing us to take up arms against one another.
:fehu: :fehu: :fehu:

Wednesday, April 19th, 2006, 01:12 PM
i know the feeling to miss a familie:~(
i shall keep this short,
my mom and dad split up when i was 5, after that my mom started a relationship with a absolut assfart!!
he loved to beat my mom, and when i jumped in to defend her i was his next targid.
my dad knew all this and did'nt help one little bit he was to bussy with his new wife.
when my stepdad was gone my mom started to drink..
that was 10 years ago and she is still drinking:(
becous of that i was in a fight with her every day, untill she kick'd me out the house..
i had to live with my grandparents, becous my dad did'nt want me..
my mom had a new boyfriend and he aswell starded to beat my mom , so i went back to live with her.
i had to take care of her, she could'nd do it by her self.
then after only one year she kickt out again, only for me to have to come to her and after 3 months to be kickt out again.. after that i went to life on my own..
i have 2 little sisters until last year my dad did'nt want them to know that i was there older sister.. witch is inpossible becouse we look alike, they are 2 small versions of me haha..
my dad want me to visit him but on the outher hand he does'nt want anyone to know that i'm his child..
all the things i have is becous i worked for it, not becouse familie helped me, and i'm very proud about that..
so no i'm not very close with my familie..
the only familie i have are my grandparents of my mom's side, they rais'd me the best they could..
the rest of my familie can drop death and i could'nt care more less..

one day i hope that i can start a familie of my own

Wednesday, April 19th, 2006, 02:03 PM
Juno, that is terrible. But I'm sure you are very wise as a result. Your wyrd will reward you with an einheriar, maybe, so you can undo all that pain. It's so sad that people do these things to one another, but, as we all know what it's like to be young and alone, we can only hope for the best and try not to repeat our parents' mistakes. They are victims too, their own worst enemies sometimes.

Wednesday, April 19th, 2006, 02:34 PM
I would give my last drop of blood for my brother, we have a laugh together over everything in the quiet pauses in this War that is Life. I do what I can for my family, and give everything when I am able. Even when they really shit me.
I try to be there for all of them to the best of my ability, so although distant in our own ways, we look out for one another and help one another, so I guess that constitutes "getting on well" as some put it

Wednesday, April 19th, 2006, 03:46 PM
you know sigrid i think people who had a childhood as such know that it's not a good way of raising a child.
i learnd a lot from my mom: what drugs will do to you, what alchohol will do to you, what will happen if you have sex with a perfect stranger, how to not rais a child, i know how to cook and clean..
dont get me wrong i have a deep respect for my mom , but that's before she started drinking..
i will give the world to get her back, but she does'nt want to be helpted.
if she needs something she only has to say my name and i'll help her, but i cant have that mother and child band with her.
she is the only one of all the people who treated me like a piece of shit i will help..
she's the one who gave me life, and no one wanted me in that familie.

there is1person forwhowill give my live and that's my bestfriend she has been trough so much crap , and always she has standed next to me and helped me trough talking to me, even when i was a pain in the ars.
i know her for many years.
she is a wise, beautiful, kind (if only she was a guy ;) ) young woman and i'm very proud that i'm her friend.
i see her as familie.

i talk to young children who's mom or dad are alchoholics, and to kids whoget beaten by there mom or dad..
it's horrible al those story's they tell!!
and my heart bleeds for them.
i cant offer them much only a listening ear, and they are so thankfull for that.
those kids troughly are amazing!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, April 19th, 2006, 04:34 PM
Juno, what you are doing is some of the best therapy they can have because you understand them. That is therapeutic in itself because most people are good basically and they get so hurt sometimes that they cover it with a wall and the person you see is not the one who is behind that wall.

But think, if you have helped even a few of these to become like yourself you have given the gift of the rune Gebo, the highest offering. Perhaps you have been given a gift for that gift in your good friend.:)


Wednesday, April 19th, 2006, 06:33 PM
I'm extremely close with my family. They are the most important people in my life. My mom, my dad and my lil' brother.

Wednesday, April 19th, 2006, 06:48 PM
I'm fairly close with my parents but most of my other relatives live hundreds of miles away. My mother and I usually spend time on the weekends with the baby while my wife is at work, we drive around visiting book stores and coffee shops. I'm definitely closer to my folks now than I was in my high school years.

Thursday, April 20th, 2006, 02:42 AM
I am very close to my mother. In fact, and we carpool together everyday to work.

I love my father dearly, and get along with him very well, but his choice of a spouse (my step-mother) is questionable. I won't go into specifics, for it is too painful. :~(

My grandmother (my father's mother, and only living grandparent) is wonderful, a truly kindred spirit. She is almost 92, but has an incredibly sharp mental acumen. She reads voraciously, and is a sensitive, aware soul.

I have no brothers or sisters.

Thursday, April 20th, 2006, 06:40 AM
Salford, I sympathise about choice of stepmothers. :rolleyes: That can be like a battlefield if it happens when you are very young. I had two step families and then another one after that attached to a companion. :runaway

Saturday, April 29th, 2006, 05:03 PM
I have a twin sister who I am just now, after almost 29 years, able to build a decent friendship with. She is my only sibling. Our past together has been volatile to say the least. She is very screwed up, and I look upon her now ith sorrow and love, because i can tell that she is hurting deeply inside, and has been for years upon years.

My father is me, and I am my father. It is for this reason that there have been many periods in our lives where "getting along" was the last thing either one of us wanted to do. It has been a very volatile, hostile road for us with a history of violence. However, as a man now with two sons of my own, I look back and realize that my father was and is an amazing man who wanted nothing but the best for his children. He is heartbroken to know that his own children for years have hated each other. He is, however, happy that she and I are on the mend.

The relationship I have had with my mother is the "best" one out of all the folks in my nuclear family, though it was far from perfect. Neither one of my parents really wanted kids, nor did they have any experiance in handling them. My mother is an only child, and was spoiled beyond belief by both her parents and then my father. Suddenly, there were twin babies to take care of, and attention was shifted from her to us. Now, my mother is old, and her body is failing. I have dedicated the rest of my time with her to building the mother/son relationship that we never had, and to making sure that she knows I love her and will help her with anything she needs.

Sunday, April 30th, 2006, 02:59 AM
So so. Nothing special, really.

Gorm the Old
Monday, May 1st, 2006, 03:55 AM
They are all dead now, but I was NEVER close with them. I felt, and still do, that I had very little in common with most of my relatives. In fact, as a teenager, I bitterly described a family as a group of people who have nothing in common except consanguinity. I have always felt closer to outsiders than to most members of my own family. I didn't get to choose my relatives, I CAN choose my friends on the basis of commonality of interests.....I can't understand or expect to be understood by people who have nothing in common with me. My mother was very intelligent. I am more so. I have never met anyone in my family who was my intellectual equal. I could get along with them, but we could never be close.....My interests are entirely different from those of any of my relatives. What could we talk about ? Cars with the men and almost nothing with the women.

Monday, May 1st, 2006, 08:43 AM
Egil, I share some of your problems in this respect as I am so different from my relatives as to be in some cases as though of another race. I am, however, much like my father, now deceased, and we had a very close bond as we are both "psychic" types and both beserkers and both Scorpios for those who are interested in Zodiacal factors. I was left alone with him at the age of eight and so he brought me up.

He was volatile, to say the very least. I grew up in a violent household in that explosions and rants and fights were an everyday feature and with one step-mother, an every night feature as well. He had a difficult childhood and a volatile father too so in many ways he unconsciously repeated this in his attempts to get somewhere in a post-war world that really had no time for old soldiers. That whole generation was a generation apart.

My father placed me into several truly dreadful step family situations, fraught with violence, rejection, religious antagonism, discord, rivalry, plain outright fighting and chaos, which in the first one, almost ended in murder. But I also learned from the people I met a great deal about the world's others and their own problems and joys and so I cannot blame anyone for anything as we are what are and do what we do and some of us who do not place ourselves into anything as children just have to get along as best we can. Sometimes, we just collapse along the way and no one notices. That, unfortunately, is what happened to me and to this day, no one has noticed that the thing they are talking to and living with is wearing a mask behind which is a face that belongs to a child that fell off the ladder and went to live among the unchosen and the trees.

Still, I had words and words are as good as anything else if used like tools, so I became a wordsmith of sorts and got used to the mask. :)

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008, 09:43 PM
I ask because it seems to me that white people (sorry thats what we are in America; its not synonymous with Germanic but theres enough correlation to be significant) tend to have less close knit extended families than other groups, and I think it directly contributes to the lack of value many of us place on our own cultures.

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008, 10:02 PM
My family isn't close at all. My father's side is quite large, and split between Canada and the UK, but I only see extended relations at funerals, or some half-hearted functions aimed at trying to reunite us every few years, of which it is invariably my grandmother who organizes. Even in these cases, I always sense an atmosphere of hostility or dislike, which sometimes translates into arguments or other confrontations that make such attempts pointless to begin with. This pertains only to my grandmother's side, as my grandfather was completely estranged from his family.

My mother's family is somewhat similar; her maternal side are all either deceased or long since fallen out of contact. Some of her father's family are in another part of Canada, the rest in Ireland, and none have spoken since he died.

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008, 10:09 PM
What do you specifically mean by extended family? I live as far from my family as I can get without leaving the country, it works better that way for us, I see my close family which consists of Mother, Stepfather, Aunt and her husband and Grandmother an equal amount, once or twice a year, I Have no
1st cousins and the only more distant cousins I have are my great aunts children and their offspring who all live in the states so I have met some of them maybe once, and my Grandfathers Brothers descendants who live in Norway most of which I have never met. One reason why my family's not close is simply distance, everybody tends to marry away and those of us who don't are way too strong willed to get along, put us all in a room and lock the door for an hour and there would be a need for several coffins

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008, 10:20 PM
What do you specifically mean by extended family? I live as far from my family as I can get without leaving the country, it works better that way for us, I see my close family which consists of Mother, Stepfather, Aunt and her husband and Grandmother an equal amount, once or twice a year, I Have no
1st cousins and the only more distant cousins I have are my great aunts children and their offspring who all live in the states so I have met some of them maybe once, and my Grandfathers Brothers descendants who live in Norway most of which I have never met. One reason why my family's not close is simply distance, everybody tends to marry away and those of us who don't are way too strong willed to get along, put us all in a room and lock the door for an hour and there would be a need for several coffins

Extended family= family besides parents, siblings, and children.

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008, 10:24 PM
Our family is split between Europe and the USA so the distance keeps us "safe" from each other. I talk to my cousins via Internet and phone, sometimes to my aunts and uncles. Sometimes we arrange visits. Otherwise, we don't interact so much. We are culturally and ideologically different. In my family, marrying non-Germans is frown upon. My sister being married to a Serbian-American, her marriage isn't thought highly of, but it is still more acceptable than marrying a Spanish or an Italian for instance. Some even accept other Germanics than Germans, but we are mostly asked to stick to our kind.

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008, 10:47 PM
I used to be fairly close to my maternal grandparents before they passed away. My cousins on that side are very important to me, but I only see one regularly. One serves in Iraq and when he is stateside he is in training, one has her own kid and is trying to make a living as a teacher, and the last is like a brother to me. I was always closer to my maternal side of the family. They all lived in one area so I think that helps.

As for my paternal side, my grandpa died before I was born but my grandma is still alive and well. I try to talk to her as often as I find time, or a reason to, because I wish I had spent more time with her growing up. She is a very religious lady (wanted me to be a priest) and she was also very quiet. She's an incredibly intelligent woman who I unfortunately didn't appreciate enough while I was young. My father has 5 siblings who are alive (one died) but I generally don't see them often. I also have two half-sisters who I haven't seen since I was like 10 or 12. My dad is to blame mostly. My half sisters refuse to speak to him and it sometimes just ends up that in an effort to forget about him they forget about me, my brother, and my mother who took care of them through their teenage years. :( On the bright side, my grandma informed me that they are having their annual family reunion this summer which I will attend and try to see everyone again. As you can tell I'm kind of out of the loop. I had no idea there was a family reunion every year before this year.

I have seen studies showing that Black families are more close-knit than White families in America. It has to do with how the Black families stay together for support. Asians have incredibly close-knit families. And Hispanics do too, I think. I wish more of our families would stick together. It definitely plays into the lack of value placed on our cultures and heritage. On the other hand, I can't shake the wanderlust. I wonder all the time about what it would be like to go here or there and live. It's especially on my mind now that I have little time before I enter the "real world".

Sunday, April 6th, 2008, 02:35 AM
When I've talked to Americans in the past, I was very surprised to learn how far away people lived from their families. Most of my cousins live within 2km of me and we see each other all the time, so I'd say we are very close knit. :) During the summer, we probably spend more time with extended family than without.

Monday, April 14th, 2008, 06:50 PM
My lot mostly live close by although I confess that my aunt chastises me for not visiting :o

Monday, April 14th, 2008, 10:10 PM
Not very close, largely due to religious differences. Also geographic and generational, I don't have any cousins on my dad's side of the family (the side we mainly associate with)

Monday, April 14th, 2008, 10:18 PM
My mother's side of the familly isnt close at all they have fights all the time and all think they are better then eachother, my dad's side i dont know realy they are Christian and alot involved in churches and even bringing bible's to countries where they are illegal.
My dad's side doesnt realy want contact with me or my dad they see us as the 2 evil people from the familly, from my mother's side i only have contact with my grandma never knew my grandpa.
So for me i only have contact with the direct links to me Mother,Father,Sister,Brother and Grandma.

Tuesday, April 15th, 2008, 02:42 AM
Quite close really. I regularly see aunts and uncles in England, go on holiday with my grandmother, and occasionally stay at my first-cousin-once-removeds' and great aunts' houses in Ireland. I went to America once to meet a third-cousin.